Ayatollah Hermione

It's amazing how just as I think I know how this is going to end, it completely shifts on me. Those last twenty minutes were tremendous television.

Of course you do.

Mackems, man. It's a different world, as Stevie would say.

Since Gemmill isn't here right now: Jules

Glad Hardcore History is getting some love around here. Perfect hangover listening. I'm catching on the Giant Bombcast from the past couple of months and if you're into the video games, and even if you're not tbh, those are some funny, funny men.

Rachel Riley, my word. Two from the top, one from the bottom and a taxi home.

I've always thought his posts in the cooking thread were a cry for help tbh

This is an AUSTRALIAN saying this btw

It's fucking amazing btw. Empirical proof that a band doesn't need "hits" to be great.

1. Fucking hell, how long have you got? My opinion (and this is backed up by NE journos) is that Ashley wanted a Director of Football to act as a go-between between the chief scout, Graham Carr and Pardew which, IMO, is a perfectly fine position to fill. The issue lies in the fact that Joe Kinnear was not that man. There's a conspiracy theory that Ashley had no intention to buy any players anyway as he'd spent £20 million in January so Kinnear was a perfect choice in the sense that he'd fail to get any sort of deal over the line but I believe it's just another notch in the bedpost of incompetence that is Mike Ashley's NUFC. 2. We needed another striker and another right back, without doubt. Remy is a talented player, no doubt but had he not been available for loan, we'd have never signed him. Losing Perch isn't too much of a loss as young players like Bigirimana and Vuckic should be getting more game time anyway but he was versatile and solid and that's something we've lost and haven't recovered. If we suffer a similar injury crisis to last year, we're in serious shit. 3. Not capitalising on the momentum we had in the summer was the major factor IMO. We needed to really pack the squad with solid hands for Europe as well as improving on the likes of Danny Simpson. Instead, we only signed a (very decent tbf) central midfielder in Anita and things stagnated. As injuries piled up and results worsened, Pardew felt the pressure and resorted to long ball tactics and was far too cautious at home and it never really abated, even when the January signings came in. He went from using every member of the squad perfectly to completely wasting them in favour of his ineffective tactics. Thus far, not a lot seems to have changed but the last 30 minutes at Fulham seen us attack with pace, move it along the floor quickly and look dangerous. I'm cautiously optimistic that Pardew will see sense if we have a good run of games. 4. Being Newcastle, we'll get stupid injuries so we'll finish top of the bottom half. If the first XI (plus three game changing subs) stays fit and Pardew plays to their strengths, rather than forcing his long ball bullshit on them, there's no reason we can't finish Top 8. Though, I think top 8 is about the best we can hope for. 5. I like it. It's a transfer model rarely seen in England but if Lambert proves to be a tremendous eye for young talent, it'll pay off for you. I like his process of moving on the likes of Ireland, Bent etc. and really paving the way for others to make an impression and stake a claim in the side. I'm not too sure on who you've signed but I'm certain you'll have a solid season. 6. I really rate him but contracts mean next to nothing in this world. Another good season and he'll be away. At least if he goes for £15 million or so, you have a set-up that will reinvest. We're not so lucky. 7. Despite our standing in the game being embarrassing in the relegation season, I thought your banners and general carry-on on the day we went down, was even more so. As far as I'm concerned, our revenge came in the 6-0 when we came back up. Now, I'm not really bothered in the slightest. 8. Anywhere in that no man's land between 9th and 16th 9. If I was Mike Ashley, I'd sign Shay Given to sell some shirts but on a football level, I like Weimann. 10. 1. Chelsea 2. Man United 3. Arsenal 4. Man City 18. Cardiff 19. Palace 20. Hull 11. A hard fought but well earned 1-1 away draw for us. We'll score first with Cisse.

I agree with this btw. First half last season, we were tremendous with Sissoko driving us on but second half, we had to weather one of the best attacking storms we'd seen all season. When on form, Lambert's Villa can do some serious damage. I'm hoping we see the back line of Debuchy - Yanga-Mbwia - Colo - Santon begin to grow here as I think it's the line-up we should have for the rest of the season.

He'd get a raise here.

Think it's Mac-Toon's or he knas the kid with it. @2NarMe on Twitter

Go to Northumbria Uni auctions. I'm not taking the piss either with that; when the sports students finish and go back, if they leave their bikes etc. behind, you can get them for cheap.

Some kid on Facebook was talking about "ooh, I'm glad it's precipitating again! #WinterIsComing" and that, to me, is the best argument I've seen yet for closing down the internet. If you MUST put something on social media about the shock horror of the weather being a bit shit in autumn, just fucking divvint.

Was just about to ask

I see they make him untuck his shirt on MOTD now. I bet it was some sight in 3D and they got complaints.

Like the cut of their jib. When I had a funny turn and decided to check the Top 40 new releases every week, they stood out the most. And I can't wait for Janelle Monae either. Might listen to Archandroid in anticipation Neko Case - The Worse Things Get, The Harder I Fight: Lovely stuff as ever. I think she might be my favourite vocalist and she's creeping up to be one of my favourite songwriters. An improvement over Middle Cyclone, not yet sure if it tops Fox Confessor and Blacklisted.

A sadder man than me (HF) would go through your posts and compile every reference you've ever made to footballer's cock sizes. We could probably rank most of the 93/94 Premier League sticker book

I make that the third time you've made me laugh. Essembee made me chuckle, now you. Winter is coming.

Finally, a joke I can steal

It would be canny funny if he got Ibrahim Ba because of the persistent rumours about him coming here years ago.

A THINK WE'LL WIN 11 NIL

Tree, Christmas.

Game Dev Tycoon: Exactly as it sounds; you start a game company and over the course of 35 years, you develop titles for each console (based on the real history of consoles/handhelds), create franchises, work to publisher demands, lock people in your basement to do QA for 15 hours a day with no food. Sadly, not that last one but it's an charming little title but not too challenging. As your company grows, you can begin to develop your own consoles, license your engine to people and rule the video game industry with an iron fist. Worth a go but I'd think any potential sequel will add a lot more. Got Saints Row 4 to start tomorrow and I hope the lukewarm reviews are just because people cannot comprehend the beauty of it yet.