Kitman

Well then don't bend it back, dear boy

75 years. 44 years old and I've still all my own hair and teeth. I've got them somewhere, just can't remember where.

Did he move to hamburg?

Should have read on, its a good read. I loved that at the end he gives it the "Ive put my foot down with mike and Derek". They'll ignore him as they usually do. Or maybe he just said that in his head and is dissembling again.

Pardew's a born liar imo. I don't trust a single thing he says. He's also an extremely average manager. When the shit hits the fan, as I think it will after a few games, he will be useless.

Or Arnold J Rimmer, with a clipboard... "Okey dokey. I like to run a tight ship, people. Any of you needs to go toilet, you talk to me first."

I wouldn't be surprised if none of that Chronicle article is true

Obviously didn't wipe afterwards, you dirty monkey!

There's a Wings song called Jet. Should'v been called Shit. Shit! Woo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo Shit! Woo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo

Who is definitely NOT gay. Honest

Most of the Wings stuff was shite. I bet he used to come up with that sort of crap all the time in the Beatles, and Lennon would just smash him in the face and send him back to work.

I dunno. I think unlike her, the story has legs. Apparently Mccartney was singing 'we can work it out' down the phone to her when she fucked off to India. I feel sorry for the bloke. Love of his life and mother to his kids dies of cancer, then he falls head over heels with this machiavellian pneumatic sex-machine who is just after his cash. I don't think he signed a pre-nup. Ah well, at least he can afford it. He wrote Mull of Kintyre and the Frog Chorus. I don't feel that sorry for him.

They're a classy bunch. No doubt they'll be down Lidl on Saturday haggling over the price of shiny toilet paper....

The very thought of it

Older than I was expecting. They'll need an XXXL coffin. RIP.

Maybe he hasn't been troubled by a mountain of offers. I can't think why. More interest in him than Alan Smith though.

West Ham hoy oots. Please Lucifer not Carlton Cole as well.

They seem to be quite an ageing side, I thought. Most of them are 30+ aren't they? Could probably do with a bit of yoof. Aye, end of an era. It was on the radio the other night btw and, despite them being no. 1 the current side (iirc) haven't won in Australia, South Africa and it was 1993 or something the last time they won in Sri Lanka. They've had a long winter prior to this summer too like and remind me a bit of the way we looked going into the last World Cup. A lot of their big guns haven't performed, especially Harbajan and they've really missed Sehwag. They have looked jaded. One thing that struck me watching the last test was how bad the fielding was. You can put that down to lack of organisation, motivation or whatever but I think a lot of it is down to old stagers who've done it all before & who are fucked off with and tired from being out in the field for ages. I think that carried over into the batting. England used to be exactly the same in the days of Lamb, Botham, Gatting, etc. All unfit old timers who couldn't cart their arse round the pitch. These days England are very fit, focussed and up for it - they learned that from the Aussies. The older players like Pietersen and Strauss are in very good shape but there's also a healthy number of sub 30 players.

They seem to be quite an ageing side, I thought. Most of them are 30+ aren't they? Could probably do with a bit of yoof.

Striker, goalie, LB, RB, CB. In fact everywhere but midfield. Until Barton goes and we need a RW too. Oh lummee.

That's another 2 lbs stacked on then..... New man from today...... Well good for you! I hope you and him are very happy together. You should tell the missus though.....

That's another 2 lbs stacked on then.....

Just don't get caught doing it