Dazzler

"Ma, can we get Haaland?" "We have a Haaland at home."

That's not the point because bandages.

Thank fuck I didn't go with the Lucy Letby version of the joke I'd initially wrote out, fuck knows what kind of response that would have encouraged

Not to defend Nefilim, but I made that joke first and he was responded to me in his bog standard bat shit way

He's more likely to start on the subject of the Chronovisor being hidden in the Vatican, and having such a device would render predictions meaningless before digressing into a strange and unrelated essay on some obscure Croatian footballer from the 80s no one gives a shit about.

Hopefully he remembers his greased goalie gloves and forgets his white stick and retriever.

Aye because it was his fucking name, you chin dribbler.

Because he isn't a weak link in the team, and is far better than all you bed wetters give him credit for. Also, it was pointless bringing Tino on earlier as Burn had Diaby in his pocket. Bailey came on, caused issues and then Tino came on to quieten him down allowing burn to provide double cover on Watkins. It was a masterstroke doing it when he did as Emery had exhausted his options chasing the game and couldn't do anything else about it. We won 3-1, what's the problem?

"Solution to dissolve the superglue I used as lube and now I'm stuck inside my sister." "Pram to take the dog down Seaburn in" "Blue pop"

Which I'd get, and probably agree with to an extent if they stuck to the actual facts. I have no issue with people pointing out genuine problems with the Saudi laws and clear human rights abuses. However, RTG loves to throw in the blatant lies for dramatic effect, like stoning women for no reason, throwing 'the gays' off roofs, accusing MBS of funding the 9/11 lot despite him being a child at the time. All of that shit is ignorant at best, and racist at worst.

Anything toon related almost always devolves into Saudi lies which are purely racist in nature though, and their defence of the LGBT community (or 'the gays' as they often refer to them as) is quite often, ironically very homophobic. I think a lot of their advertisers would be deeply concerned about associating with that sort of shit tbh. They always have the "it does not reflect our views" argument but I bet that being there for all to see would be at least a bit concerning.

The same way he juggled Brexit and COVID. Spectacularly poorly.

Could they be hoping for a Trumpish bounce by bringing Boris back? Because I think our thickos are slightly less thick than the yank thickos so I don't think it'll work.

He's wore the occasional head bandage though.

Didn't they chase him down the street and blockade his car, threatening to kick him all over after a shite result once? They are a fucking odd bunch them blue tory cunts.

We wouldn't be in this mess if they'd just let Shipman carry on, he was offering assisted (and surprising) dying to pensioners before it was cool. On another note, it's good to see the Lib Dems are pretty consistently shit across the board .. No doubt they'll win a decent chunk of the more centrist tory voters come GL.

I don't think enough attention has been paid to how much he's grown up and matured since he signed too which has obviously had a massive effect on his performances. He very rarely (if ever) loses his cool anymore, even when he has full backs hacking him to bits for the entire game. He is completely focused on his own game - it's an incredible transformation from the petulant scouse cunt that used to play for Everton.

I have no idea what most of those things are or what they do, what group am I in? What group covers dads who use the Ikea provided allen key*, follow the instructions, still fuck it up and then cry about it? *I now have a proper expensive electric screwdriver to make me feel more rugged, but the rest still happens.

Getting him doing the classic groin lifts. That'll help.

Forest are just out there telling the PL to jam FFP up their hoop.

That's a gif of my chopper, what you talking about?

3-0 Murphy to force three own goals and rupture six bollocks to add to the two he busted tonight.