Dazzler

Liverpool and Chelsea fly so they can sink.

Drury: Carragher:

Isak scoring against Man Utd's defence is an easier ask than scoring against Southampton's reserves. So, obviously they are going to rip it off from the pubes if/when he scores a scuffed shinner into the centre of the goal from a yard out.

Wah'll just sayah hurtey words to them, marra. Wah winnit hoy them off rewfs.

I imagine this will be taken with huge grace and there won't be an ounce of homophobia in sight.

Groin scare? Did he catch a glimpse of his weapon in the mirror?

MLFs think Shearer is alright for a mag. He doesn't belong in this deathmatch.

Aye, but does he still like his suitcase?

Aye but you're forgetting the amount of MLFs that live up Whitley Bay way. It spikes property prices being that close to such a universally loved group of people who love Sunderland so much they choose to live in North Tyneside.

For reference: Feast your eyes, lads. This is what true beauty looks like.

Like a shit version of the Ponderosa on Elswick Road.

And to think JDT has been defending him at our expense. Sad.

Vance also went ape shit over an edgy joke from a democrat moments later. Apparently what this other bloke said was much, much worse than outright racism.

I think so, aye. Looks like he stands on overpasses and hockles on cars.

Hey now, don't be coming around here in Barkel County with yer fancy lawyerin' talk. We a simple folk and we know two thangs: 1. High Water Availabity 2. Low Water Avalbabity Stick to the topic at hand, y'hear?

I got Jay Stansfield and Divin Mubama - I've heard of neither, but they're both English although the former is 22 and I specifically asked for under 21.

Tbf “BIBLI GHRDGDH” is how Italian sounds to people who don’t understand Italian.

Well that’s my missus getting a dick pic, isn’t it.

He looks like a hot air balloon in the shape of trump.

Ah I’m with you now: Like this, but small (and with a much bigger tool)

Like this but small.

You need to go round to the ticket office and give the best blowey and/or motting to whoever you scared into doing you bidding.