Dazzler

Brandt, how many did you score today? Brandt: One.

Fuck it. The tops getting washed, fucking nowt lucky about it.

Adeyemi will have to be let out of Tinos pocket at full time.

Fucking Tino is class man.

Because they had to choose between morals and drums when going through customs.

Aww the little paupers are jealous of our money. Bless.

Deputy Doofy curling one at Pope

Fucking hell their fans have launched a shit load of tennis balls, what is that in protest to?

There's a player for them who looks like doofy from scary movie in a blonde wig and it's a little unnerving.

So Pope can catch a cross. Good to know.

"they have Paul Dummett available on the bench." As a replacement for Hall. Fucking hell man.

Playing like a team with De Bolle and Parkinson on the bench. We seriously cannot risk any further injuries and I think it's showing in our game plan so far.

We're getting bucked so far. We either need to flip them over, or at least politely request they apply some lube.

I'm probably not much taller than some of them tbf

You got a problem with specky cunts like? Coz I'll take these bin lids off and we can take this outside. Once I figure out which way outside is.

"Increasing the risk of" is not admission. Nice try though, ya dirty cheek spreader.

No mess at all. In a seated position your cheeks naturally separate so a little lean and you have access to the starfish. When you're standing your cheeks close together, so you need to whack an extra hand in the mix to spread the cheeks apart, thus increasing the risk of getting shitty fingers. It's more time consuming and unless you bunch the bog roll into a ball and shove it in there there's no guarantee you've cleaned properly. It's like pulling your kegs all the way down to have a standing piss, it's childish, disturbing and quite frankly you all need to grow up and hand your hard drives over to Operation Yewtree for a thorough inspection.

Better across both cheeks (which is easy enough to clean) than all over the bog seat, floor, sink, hands, wall, cistern, flusher, socks, trousers, under-cowies.. and still not fully clean it, so end up with an itchy sheriffs badge for the rest of the day.

Longstaff too. Rarely does he not start. You can pretty much add Gordon to that list now too.

Either do it right or GTFO IMO.

and good luck some days, but mostly bad.

This is a good answer to most, though there are a handful of people on here that will be very disappointed. That said they stand up to wipe their arse so their feelings are irrelevant.

Immediately thought of this

The Germans don't like directing the British to their lands, it rarely ends well for them when we turn up.

and duds full of yesterday's shite because Gemmill is really dropping the ball in his duties as carer. I am starting to think he just likes the pocketing the benefit and the seats at the match in the wheelchair section.