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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. I propose our back up is the comments section on a specific video on xhamster. No sign up required, everyone knows where to go, free and easy to drop when things are fixed. We should pick something unlikely to be removed for copyright claims or whatever, so I’d suggest German Housewife Gets Split in Two by Romanian Plumber. (1993).
  2. I checked BBC news first to see if they had any updates but apparently big Vlad telling lies to little Vlad is more newsworthy.
  3. How many rabbits did your savage beast cull whilst we were down? Are we looking at double figures yet?
  4. Same. It says something that I’d rather look at a “computer says no” screen than dip a toe in to NO.
  5. I think Eddie is busy trying to not cough his lungs out, he can’t be expected to start threads too.
  6. Andrew’s Mrs. goes away for a weekend trip with the girls and he blows the TT slush fund on hookers and blow. I’m surprised his wrists are strong enough to type never mind start a match thread. With that in mind, I’ll say that I expect us to treat the Tractor Boys like a dock-side brass and give them a nasty dry bumming.
  7. We should’ve all piled over to Ed’s NUFC blog.
  8. I’d like to take this opportunity to remind myself how much I fucking hate the Beige and hope it goes shittily bad for them.
  9. It’s just a shame it wasn’t sponsored by Disney this year. That would’ve been lovely.
  10. We are George Michael, Villa are Ken Ridley, whatever the other one was called. In line with the new tradition, tapping on the gif below will reveal my winning score prediction via morse code.
  11. My protests against were also utterly disregarded when we got our furry shit machine, Dweezil. He’s also caused our feathery friends to vacate our garden, but I think it’s just in protest at his astonishing stupidness, since he’s soft as shite and probably scared of birds. I was throwing a ball about the back garden for him the other day, which he was unbelievably excited about, being a dog, and in one of his attempts to get said ball, he forgot that brick walls are solid entities and hurt when you charge head-first in to them… … like I said, thicker than a mackem’s belly
  12. Domestic cats are the number one killer of birds in this country (after me of course). There’s a growing lobby who would like to see them kept indoors under lock and key and only allowed outside if tethered. (again also after me.)
  13. I’ve just looked them up, and they were aged 15-17 when they recorded that. They also had a pathological hatred for greyhounds and made it their life’s work to wind the crazy bastards up. One of the above statements is true. Guess
  14. Otherwise they’d be standing, and you wouldn’t see the fine fellows behind. Also, they’ve just wiped.
  15. Shall I knock on all the neighbours doors before I snip one off on the path?
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