Monkeys Fist

My first car was a Mini. Imagine driving on a motorway in a roller skate with a roof. I also managed to 720 it down Matthew Bank, and stay in lane

There's a revelation.

It's my 18th wedding anniversary, therefore she-who-should-be-sectioned has requested her favourite. Rib-eye steak, garlic butter prawns, green beans with lemon, and some recently dug up Pink Fir Apple spuds. Not exactly adventurous but fecking lovely. I've said next year I get to choose - aye, right

Gunt obstructions, innit.

Go on then, I'll take the bait. Please tell us in hilariously mispelled English about your strange encounter as a callow ginge.

Shouldn't we wait for Essembee to pop in and save the day?

Hijo de puta! That's fighting talk in the Great Park hood.

BJs in Bologna

Fucking hell Sounds like a creepy kids version of Cheech and Chong, which kind of fits the club perfectly.

Worked as an instructor for 15 years- I'd average 2-3 nights a week outside/in a tent. This includes 8 years as a river guide in France, when I'd live under canvas for 6 months. It's an estimate, but I reckon that adds up to about 6 or more years. I'll be honest, I preferred bivouacs to camping, as long as your sleeping bag is good quality and dry, it's amazing… and you're not sharing a cloth tube with a vomiting mate

I'd pay money to see a band called Parky's Foil Hat.

Have they really got a player called N'Dong? They deliver it on a plate for us.

Rogue One, or Feminist SJW Propaganda?

Turn to stone. NSFW, obviously, it's a minge tat.

Given the choice, I'd much rather have a luxury apartment than camping, but I don't mind a few nights roughing it I worked out that I've spent about 6-7 years of my life in total sleeping outside/under canvas.

I spent 5 days in Eskdale in a fucking camping pod[ shed with my 9 & 6 yr olds. The trick is, take them somewhere where there's other people's kids, that way they'll fuck off and play around the other poor bastard's pitch, leaving you and the Mrs to quietly cane the Gin and regret everything Also, the other kids are invariably much posher than mine, which always adds a little frisson of pleasure at the thought of Marcus and India, shuddering at the thought of their precious offspring consorting with oiks " Daddy, can I go and play with Cressida, Maisie-May and Freddie?" " Course you can pet, make sure you break something"

Bad idea old chap. However, " For a bag of Tudor, I'd shag a mountain" in a circle around your egg bag is a must. Perhaps.

Late to the party but … They don't think it be like it is but it do.

ok