Monkeys Fist

Fyp.

I’m yet to see any evidence proving that Jordan and Katie Hopkins aren’t the same bloke.

She probably did- notice there’s no one sitting close to her.

That’s the ultimate aim of meditation- have precisely fuck-all on your mind.

Speaking of which, Mrs. F. has a mole on one of hers… … and there’s a photo of Mars’ moon Phobos passing over a Martian volcano.

His mam needs to get him some more play dates.

It appears you share, with Princess Kate/Catherine/Sugartits, the common affliction of sand in the vag.

Speak up

“ The Crown accepts the defendant is innocent on the grounds of Jaffa and Batty , however, there is a compensatory claim for damages outstanding. The driver of the minicab, a Mr. Chris. Mastree, has submitted a list of cleaning charges following the incident in question; Cleaning of batter ( fanny)- £50 Disposal of 40kg of empty pizza boxes ( duck flavour)- £50 Disposal of 14 (pairs) of soiled, XXXL Asda Menswear y-fronts. - £50 Disposal of 1 condom ( XXS) - £50 Loss of earnings and mental suffering - £5080. Mr. Mastree has offered to waive the financial penalties if defendant carries out 100hrs of unpaid service at North East Solo Metectors Club. What say you Mr. Gemmil?” ” Cash or cheque?”

TAXI!

None that you’re aware of, certainly …

Kinky bitch!

It’s top-drawer entertainment watching them do it over, and over, and over again. If it sounds even vaguely anti-NUFC, they’re on it like a dog eating chips with their , let’s call them ‘embellishments’. “ See Brewno got a yellow* in the match I didn’t watch” ” Aye marrow, should’ve been a red” ” Aye, he nearly broke the lads leg” ” Aye, elbowed him in the face too” ” I heard Brewno is shagging the lads wife” ” And his mam…” ” WHAT A BASTARD! “ ” TYPICAL MAG SCUM!” ” ‘E’s A DIZZGRAYUCE!” * booked for dissent

Could be worse- could be Tony.

Aye If I was betting a fellow, I’d put money on at least one of the robbers being closely related to Unkal Mick.

Nowt wrong with Persian is there?

I wouldn’t climb over her to shag you, like, even her older self

I have to take a mandatory 45 minute break- I’m in fucking Hendon. Fuck my bastard luck.

She’s got the wong accent. Giddup!

Alex Two Times.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-stoke-staffordshire-67994919 Lass from Wolverhampton wakes up with a Geordie accent. Someone needs to get her to safety, quick, before the Ready to Groom mob claim her as MLF.

A lot of their squad must worth fuck all then, because they’ve got a £30m, £25m and £15m player on the books. Is this all part of The Model?

I worked with a Moosefucker who’d done a couple of seasons of that. Top lad, 5’6” and 6’ wide.

Have you just called @trophyshy a fatty?