Monkeys Fist

Fucking hell- cheap bastard.

I predict that once the full fucking horror show of of Brexit is played out and decimating the country, our erstwhile taxi-driving chum will, once again, be found shitting his trousers in the car park at Boldon Dogs, as the terrible reality of it all causes his arse to fail it’s MOT.

Do robots use taxis? Asking for a friend…

Charles Aznavour, 94. Don’t think his owld man was too keen on him, judging by his middle name. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Aznavour

I’m picturing essembee slapping on the blackface and wrapping a tea towel round his head after his weekly overdose of Mackie Tans, then running up and down his street in Pennywell shouting “Goodness Gracious Me! I’m foreign, you know” in a terrible Indian accent, to a chorus of slamming doors from his poor neighbours.

North Shields Sambucas

Just every time old Spaghetti-Heed rapes someone. Allegedly…

Why’d you join the Army then? Or didn’t you?

They don’t. Fucking stinkers.

Just proving that you can’t polish a turd.

We’d never have guessed.

I’m struggling to see the relevance, but hats off for the support. Wor Ingrid has her knockers, but at least she never employed JFK?? ( I’m struggling to shoehorn any more tit jokes in here folks, so I’ll nip it in the bud).

Oh, you sweet summer child

The actual moment a shite WUM gives up any pretence of being genuine and just goes all-out. And yet… still utterly underwhelms.

I’ll wait until it’s on Jimbo’s telly.

This has an entirely different, but equally unpleasant (or not, depending on which way stir the pot), meaning up here.

For a young chap, navigating the stormy waters of early adolescence, in search of the remotest chance of seeing some fleeting glimpse of late-night tv titties, any film of Wor Ingrid’s was an absolute home-banker. ( that’s banker…). Unless it was Where Eagles Dare… but I’m almost positive I probably tore the neck off it when she showed up in that anyway

Definitely the case for Max Clifford.

Possibly the only film where Ingrid Pitt didn’t unleash the puppies. Terrible shame

That’s older than Noelie.

Bloke walks in to a bakery with a salmon under his arm, ” Do you do fish cakes?” ” No, sorry, we don’t ” says the baker. “ Shame.…” says the bloke, pointing at the Salmon. “It’s his birthday”.

Barking seal mistaken for dog sparks Sunderland 999 call-out http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-45547007 Fucking window lickers.

Just needs some desperate alchy from Leeds to start sending the police some hoax tapes.