Monkeys Fist

Woah! They’re not made of real frog?

No matter how shitty the weather, no matter how much the kids whine on or do your nut in, no matter how fucking desperate you get, don’t go to the Pencil Museum in Keswick. It’s exactly as shite as it sounds. If its not too windy/pissing down, hiring a rowing boat and taking the kids out to St.Herberts Island on Derwentwater is a good way to fill a morning/afternoon. If it is windy and pissing down, the Honister Slate Mine is a great trip, for kids and adults alike.

… which is when he holds up a Dulux colour chart next to his nose, on the brown page

Me three.

He was a cabbie, wasn’t he?

What’s innacurate about the word “tits”, you trembling throbber?

There’s a canny few possibilities on AirB&B @Dr Gloom , here’s a couple from Keswick and Ambleside area- they’d work out at around £80-90 per couple per night, which isn’t too bad. https://abnb.me/EVmg/OHslogyTnJ https://abnb.me/EVmg/tsVLkkTTnJ https://abnb.me/EVmg/FjsRQz0TnJ https://abnb.me/EVmg/GZFw5m8TnJ

It’s not like a Mackem to flip flop… oh, hang on.

Horizon Zero Dawn. I’ve recently played Fallout 4, Assassins Creed Origins, Witcher 3, you get the picture. I’m tempted to say that this game is at least the equal of, and in many respects better than, them all. In terms of the World it’s in, scale and sheer beauty, it beats them all. When it comes to difficulty, and appropriate scaling through the levels, it’s (so far), a clear winner. I’m currently around L28ish and have yet to hit a mission that’s been a walkover. When it comes to modification ( of weaponry, armour, skills), it’s all pretty relevant- you’re not presented with a ridiculous skill tree to waste points on, it’s all pretty practical, the weaponry is fairly basic with a manageable amount of upgrading, same with the armour/costume upgrading. I love the modding available on FO4, but this doesn’t even attempt to compete with that… as a base game though, it’s got it spot on. Story wise, which is not usually a major thing for me, it’s been varied and engaging so far. I’ve not seen anyone mention it on here yet, so I thought I’d pitch in and recommend it. It’s a feckin good game. It’s one of the rare games that I’ve bought the DLC for well before being anywhere near finishing the main game.

All the best @Noelie

All/none of them. Same thing.

ftfy.

Where’s @Kitman when you need him? Happy New Year you pack of glorious bastards.

Nice tits, though.

If you do meet Souness, don’t acknowledge his football career at all. Treat him as a failed actor, discuss his sole appearance in Boys From The Blackstuff, and ask him where it went wrong from there.

Just got back from seeing Last Jedi with The Knacker (Fistlet II). Going by the “Sweetie Bag Scale”, ( empty bag- kids are bored and neck sweets= shite film full bag- kids totally engrossed in film, forget about sweets= Call Oscar), Knacker had a pretty much full bag at movie’s end, and loved it. I really enjoyed it too, agreed the Leia/Superman scene was a bit “wtf”, they missed a trick by not having Luke lift his X-Wing out of the Oirish Sea and come charging in on it, and the casino with the galloping rabbit/donkeys can fuck off, but overall it was an enjoyable romp. That’s as much critique as a movie about Telepathic Hippie Space Monks fighting Asthma Nazis needs.

Looks like Uncal Mick is now Aunty Michaela.… ( also, isn’t that Basic Mick a few rows above him/her, left of the lass in the white hat?)

Chins up Tubs. Sure you’ll bounce back

Now now, bbc is what tempted Mrs. Ken away from the piss-stained marital bed. So let’s not mention it, eh?