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Bruce Manager of NUFC

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46 minutes ago, NJS said:

Lying sack of shit (Bruce not Troops). 


aye. from the outset he's prepared to peddle lies for the fucking piece of human scum who employed him.

very reminiscent of pardew in 2010 denying having had meetings with ashley/llambias before hughton was sacked.

12 years of lie after lie after lie.


it needs destroying.


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"Make no mistake, we are active as we speak and hopefully we will get them over the line."

we've heard this line before

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35 minutes ago, Ayatollah Hermione said:


Sounds like he’s trying to convince himself more than anything else 


i doubt it mate.

he'd have to be terminally stupid not to know exactly what it is he's bought in to.

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“ and hopefully we will get them over the line”

He’s already fully assimilated. 


Bend over Steve, grit your teeth, it’ll slip right in. 

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Bob Concur trying to convince us 

I watched them train and he (Steve Bruce) has them up and running. There was a bit of old school running in pre-season. It may prove successful.”

Who is anybody to criticise his style before giving him a chance?

“Steve has been appointed and it’s done and dusted.

“Sadly, Rafa Benitez has gone and he made his choice, whatever you can say about the circumstances it is history now unfortunately.

“Steve has come in and he knows he wasn’t first choice – at the end of the day he is the guy who had the gumption to take on the challenge. It is a massive challenge.

Everybody knows it is a very difficult job and regardless of what people might think, you have to get behind him now.

“I wish him success.

“There’s no magical thing about this, he is the boss, let’s get behind him and support him.

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15 minutes ago, ewerk said:

Running :lol: 

:lol::lol: Of the old school variety as well. 


I hate this “Steve has been appointed it’s done and dusted” shite that keeps being repeated, as if we should all just go “ah well nowt to complain about now let’s get behind Steve and Colback”, imagine if we treat everything like that :lol: 

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4 minutes ago, Ayatollah Hermione said:

Not sure what's more embarrassing tbh. Poundland or Moncur.


One's a purveyor of cheap shite, the other is a chain of discount stores

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2 hours ago, zerosum said:

Shelvey liking bruce. Seems a few who were isolated by rafa will be relieved now 

Go back to your council house, you peasant.





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Brucie's bonus press conference


Lee Marshall: "OK folks, you know the drill, no takeover questions, no Mike Ashley questions and keep it clean, please, after all, we aren't Joe Kinnear! OK, Newcastle United manager....Steve Bruce!"


Steve Bruce: "Hi everyone, pleased to meet you all again."


Chris Waugh: "Hi Steve, how does...."


Knight Ryder: "Cough, fucking cough!.....(glares at Waugh)....Welcome to the Toon, Brucey. Trinity Mirror regional sports writer of the year, Lee Ryder here, How does it feel to be back wor kid?"


SB: "It feels great to be honest, I've always loved Newcastle as they were my boyhood club. Growing up as a Geordie it was my dream to play for them. In fact I can't think of anyone in here more Geordie than myself to be honest with you! Hahaha."


Knight Ryder: "What aboot me? Ah was a toon army footsoldier long before ah was a shit hot award winning sports journalist. Are you more Geordie than me?"


SB: "Where you from, son?"


Knight Ryder: "Seaton Delaval."


SB: "Hahaha. I'm definitely more Geordie than you, sonna. I'm from Daisy Hill in Walker, as a kid if you were on a bike it was either stolen or in danger of being stolen. We weren't poshies from the coast!"


Luke Edwards: "Is it true you personally transformed the career of a young Andy Robertson, the Liverpool full back and Klopp has you to thank for Liverpool's fantastic champions league winning season?"


SB: "Well that's very kind of you, Luke....."


Knight Ryder: "So how many times did you wag it from school then, Walker hardman?"


Lee Marshall: "One at a time, please gentleman!"


SB: "Well, ah helped Andy out but I'm sure Jurgen had a bit to do with it as well. Also ah wagged it about twenty times."


Knight Ryder: "Twenty? Is that it? Ah wagged it about thirty times all through school, wor kid. How's that Geordie asseseman, err, assismin, err working going now, like?"


SB: "Twenty times in just the 2nd year of Benfield school, kidda."




LM: "Hi security! Lee Marshall here, can someone please escort JC back down to the kitchens, please. Think he's been siphoning off the guests whisky again. Cheers."


George Caulkin: "How much of the decision to take the job was based on your parents being from here?"


SB: "Well it played a part, I couldn't have....."


Knight Ryder: "That was just in the juniors! Twenty times in the juniors! Ask Mala, he'll tell ya!"


SB: "Err, I couldn't have made it without the support of my folks."


Keith Downie: "Understand reports say that Mike Ashley will give you a £100M war chest. How much was his backing and steadying the ship as well as being a sound businessman a factor in you taking the job?"


SB: "Obviously a big part but I've full control of the club transfers and everything."


Lee Marshall: "Sorry, everyone..... (Whispers).....Steve, Lee Charnley says he'll agree to a pay-as-you-play deal for Carroll and that's all you can have. Carr's doing the rest."


SB: "For fucks sake, err, I mean Lee charnley's trying to get a couple of my targets as we speak. Hopefully can get them over the line."


Lee Marshall: "Ok folks, that's it for today, well see you next time."


Knight Ryder: "How many tabs did you smoke at school, then? Eh? Eh How many....?"


Lee Marshall: "Sorry, Lee, that's all for now."


Knight Ryder: "Laters."



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I think it was a brilliant decision for beloved Mr. Ashley to hire a Geordie.

I think Mr. Charnley was brilliant assisting Mr. Ashley in hiring a Geordie.

I think Mr. Bruce, the Geordie, will surely bring feelings of some magnitude to every supporter home or abroad.

I think, deeply, we should applaud Mr. Ashley & Mr. Charnley for their astuteness in hiring a Geordie.

I do think I have exhausted my plan to tell anymore terminologicalinexactitudes.

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