ewerk 26347 Posted April 8, 2023 Share Posted April 8, 2023 Well I’ve been blessed with the delights of food poisoning or norovirus for the long weekend. Woke up at 4.30am about to puke and nearly made it to the bathroom in time but instead ended up trying to aim my projectile stream of puke into the toilet from about ten feet away resulting in covering nearly the entire back wall in vomit. I’ve since been sick about five times resulting in burst blood vessels all round my eyes and been on the shitter about 15 times today. Unable to keep any liquids down, genuinely don’t think I’ve ever felt worse. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34464 Posted April 8, 2023 Share Posted April 8, 2023 Got any Easter eggs going spare? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 30414 Posted April 8, 2023 Share Posted April 8, 2023 23 minutes ago, ewerk said: Well I’ve been blessed with the delights of food poisoning or norovirus for the long weekend. Woke up at 4.30am about to puke and nearly made it to the bathroom in time but instead ended up trying to aim my projectile stream of puke into the toilet from about ten feet away resulting in covering nearly the entire back wall in vomit. I’ve since been sick about five times resulting in burst blood vessels all round my eyes and been on the shitter about 15 times today. Unable to keep any liquids down, genuinely don’t think I’ve ever felt worse. Fucking hell. I hope you’re over it soon 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38766 Posted April 8, 2023 Share Posted April 8, 2023 30 minutes ago, ewerk said: Well I’ve been blessed with the delights of food poisoning or norovirus for the long weekend. Woke up at 4.30am about to puke and nearly made it to the bathroom in time but instead ended up trying to aim my projectile stream of puke into the toilet from about ten feet away resulting in covering nearly the entire back wall in vomit. I’ve since been sick about five times resulting in burst blood vessels all round my eyes and been on the shitter about 15 times today. Unable to keep any liquids down, genuinely don’t think I’ve ever felt worse. Did you stand up to wipe though? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 26347 Posted April 8, 2023 Share Posted April 8, 2023 10 minutes ago, Alex said: Fucking hell. I hope you’re over it soon Well I haven’t wretched for an hour so maybe over the worst of it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8989 Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 Great way to lose weight, the norovirus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 3205 Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 On 08/04/2023 at 14:52, ewerk said: Well I haven’t wretched for an hour so maybe over the worst of it. I was going to make a joke about the difference between wretch and retch but then realised your lack of education isn’t a laughing matter. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 6865 Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 😂 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19825 Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 On 08/04/2023 at 14:17, ewerk said: Well I’ve been blessed with the delights of food poisoning or norovirus for the long weekend. Woke up at 4.30am about to puke and nearly made it to the bathroom in time but instead ended up trying to aim my projectile stream of puke into the toilet from about ten feet away resulting in covering nearly the entire back wall in vomit. I’ve since been sick about five times resulting in burst blood vessels all round my eyes and been on the shitter about 15 times today. Unable to keep any liquids down, genuinely don’t think I’ve ever felt worse. shit the bed! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 5908 Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 11 hours ago, Toonpack said: 😂 Am I missing something? (Or are other people not seeing the huge video camera filming the scene?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 26347 Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 23 hours ago, Kevin Carr's Gloves said: I was going to make a joke about the difference between wretch and retch but then realised your lack of education isn’t a laughing matter. ‘PLEASE SIR, HELP ME, I’M DIEING’ ’No, young man. I think you’ll find you’re DYING. Now please find your way off this mortal coil’ 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 3205 Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 25 minutes ago, ewerk said: ‘PLEASE SIR, HELP ME, I’M DIEING’ ’No, young man. I think you’ll find you’re DYING. Now please find your way off this mortal coil’ A wretched man might retch but retching does not make you a wretch. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strawb 3659 Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 On unrelated boring semantic news. I’m off to Northcote Manor tomorrow night for a feed and a sleep. Never had sweetbreads before but fuck me im going to give it a good go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8989 Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 12 hours ago, Kid Dynamite said: Am I missing something? (Or are other people not seeing the huge video camera filming the scene?) I didn't clock that on the first watch, but I did clock the exaggerated pause, dramatic turn, zero resistance from the woman. 100% for a movie or tv show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 16652 Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 They've recently got a wireless in the office. Put greatest hits on. It's at a quiet level where it's nice bit of background noise. Then Ken BASTARD Bruce joined the station. His patter is fucking wank. Yet mad cunts were in uproar of him leaving Radio 2. Says everything about their listener base. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 14055 Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 7 minutes ago, wykikitoon said: They've recently got a wireless in the office. Put greatest hits on. It's at a quiet level where it's nice bit of background noise. Then Ken BASTARD Bruce joined the station. His patter is fucking wank. Yet mad cunts were in uproar of him leaving Radio 2. Says everything about their listener base. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew 4220 Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 36 minutes ago, wykikitoon said: They've recently got a wireless in the office. Put greatest hits on. It's at a quiet level where it's nice bit of background noise. Then Ken BASTARD Bruce joined the station. His patter is fucking wank. Yet mad cunts were in uproar of him leaving Radio 2. Says everything about their listener base. There's something about you wyki, youre both the most predictable person in the world and yet I can never begin to guess what youre going to be really mad about next. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 14055 Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 Acorns? Let me tell you a thing or two about FUCKING acorns... 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9228 Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 7 minutes ago, Andrew said: There's something about you wyki, youre both the most predictable person in the world and yet I can never begin to guess what youre going to be really mad about next. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26833 Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 59 minutes ago, wykikitoon said: They've recently got a wireless in the office. Put greatest hits on. It's at a quiet level where it's nice bit of background noise. Then Ken BASTARD Bruce joined the station. His patter is fucking wank. Yet mad cunts were in uproar of him leaving Radio 2. Says everything about their listener base. @PaddockLad quite likes Ken Bruce, I'm sure? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 14585 Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 21 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said: @PaddockLad quite likes Ken Bruce, I'm sure? Ken Bruce is the go to mild mannered easy going mid morning broadcaster. Wykiki obviously doesn’t want his perusal of Ferret Fanciers Weekly spoiled by KB’s polished brogue whilst sipping a small skip sized cup of Yorkshire tea and nibbling on a Pontefract cake 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 16652 Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 37 minutes ago, PaddockLad said: Ken Bruce is the go to mild mannered easy going mid morning broadcaster. Wykiki obviously doesn’t want his perusal of Ferret Fanciers Weekly spoiled by KB’s polished brogue whilst sipping a small skip sized cup of Yorkshire tea and nibbling on a Pontefract cake You two share the same 'register?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 6865 Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 17 hours ago, wykikitoon said: You two share the same 'register?' Whilst you are on a rageister. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 30414 Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 I think the only time Ken Bruce would get an airing is on the occasional long car journey. As a bit of a ‘neutral’ option. I can’t quite see how he’d piss anyone off that much though. Even wyki 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9228 Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 34 minutes ago, Alex said: I think the only time Ken Bruce would get an airing is on the occasional long car journey. As a bit of a ‘neutral’ option. I can’t quite see how he’d piss anyone off that much though. Even wyki I refer the honourable gentleman to my previous response 🙂 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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