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Everything posted by Howmanheyman

  1. Coronavirus

    Lying arseholes with big pockets, isn't that right the conservative party?
  2. Coronavirus

    It very much feels like they're testing the water on stuff and reacting. I thought these fuckers survived two wars etc? Fucking useless. Btw, what's the crack in Russia? Are they immune to it as I've not heard a peep from that neck of the woods?
  3. Mike Ashley -- Football Cunt

  4. Coronavirus

    My folks are in their 70s but my sister lives with them, she works with patients though as an OT so good news on the shopping front, not so good for chances of passing anything on. I'm a bit wary of visiting in case I pass anything on and one of my daughters has just started working at a pharmacy so thinking it's only a matter of time before we get it so want to keep my distance from my mam and dad. It's shit.
  5. Mike Ashley -- Football Cunt

    It's quite telling that their worst flaws or flaws they see in other Sunderland fans talking shite are quite often described as 'Mag behaviour'. There's rivalry, I won't deny we laugh and take the piss and vice versa and that's normal but they cling to their part in it a lot more as it's all they have. They can't openly admit it and when they see it from their own they have to 'share' the blame, thus ''Mag behaviour', 'Magesque', 'bollocks! That's the type of shit the mags come out with' and of course the eternal and much loved 'Mag at work'.
  6. Coronavirus

    The wife's disabled, she usually does an online shop once a week from Sainsburys and sometimes Asda and I usually pop up to Sainsbury's of wherever getting bits and bobs that we've forgot or bits from elsewhere. Asda and Sainsbury's online shopping booked out for three weeks. So if you're disabled or would struggle to get out to shop and you have nobody to help you or do your shop you're fucked because a few more people can't be arsed to shop in person or think they'll beat the queue, whatever? If they expect the vulnerable and elderly to self isolate is their going to be any plans in place to actually feed and water them as well as making they're getting their medication etc? A plan and an explanation might be a bit reassuring if it's not too much trouble from our betters in government?
  7. Generic small time football blather thread FOREVER

    Me too. They can fuck right off.
  8. Coronavirus

    Good luck.
  9. Snidey colleagues work nicknames

    'The Northumbrian piper' = He was a gaffer who had a colostomy bag.
  10. Snidey colleagues work nicknames

    'Balou' = He only ever did the bare necessities at work. 'Redbull' = ironically called because it's full of energy and he err, wasn't. 'New Kid' = Had been at the place for 30 years but kept getting moved shifts, different departments etc by managers because he was always too busy chewing the fat with everyone rather than doing his job. 'Turkish delight' = A lad who ended up going to NUFC games with the gaffer and up his arse a bit. Why Turkish delight? The gaffer's name was Easton. The kid was full of eastern promise. 'The eye of Sauron' = This kid misses fuck all and knows the exact time you went for a break and when you got back. Probably a few more but that's off the top of my head.
  11. Mike Ashley -- Football Cunt

    '"I'm not being Magesque....." What a fucking knacker.
  12. Coronavirus

    Might have to return to the old childhood emergency bog roll, Doc leaves. Also come in handy if I get a nettle sting while I'm there.
  13. Coronavirus

    I'm all for buying chickens if it means I get to have sex with a 30 year old Felicity Kendal.
  14. General Random Conversation..

    PL's fantasies rising to the surface. The bungalow I'm in had have an extension built and all but one room moved around while we were living in it. I helped with the work when I wasn't at work and obviously painted it. I must be a super influencer then.
  15. General Random Conversation..

    Apparently the shops have been cleared out. We'll make do with stuff in the house and I'll pop up on Monday when the mongs have finished and they've been resupplied.
  16. General Random Conversation..

    She was an Ashington-Serb. Caesar fancied her mate at first, like.
  17. Coronavirus

    The BBC have been platforming some absolute chancers for at least four years now so you shouldn't be too surprised by now.
  18. General Random Conversation..

    Yes, she was well known for flirting with powerful Roman men. (Flirting on the Nile on her personal ship). When she wasn't flirting on the Nile she was on solid ground chatting them up.
  19. General Random Conversation..

    The wife did this imagining herself as possibly a 'Spanish Princess' or a distant relation to Cleopatra or something exotic*. The first results she got back were 100% British and Irish. She wasn't impressed. *I'm exaggerating a little bit, obviously. Just a bit though. She's now apparently 63% Northumbrian, 15% Northern Ireland and SW Scotland, 4% Ireland, 4.7% NW Scotland, 4% East Anglia, 2.7% central England, 2.3% South Yorkshire, 1.9% Cornwall, 1.1% NW England. (I've left a few point percentage points out if anyone is bored enough to add them up) I've also obviously had to ask her to check and she knows I'm taking the piss so expecting her revenge in the next day or so.
  20. Premier League Suspended Until 3rd April

    She's a horrible cunt.
  21. Coronavirus

    Don't risk anything you don't have to, Rob.
  22. Coronavirus

    "Guys! Guys! I think this is the time we can finally say I've got the hang of this dieting lark! I've lost almost a stone in less than a week! It's the closest I've been to fitting in 32" jeans in 30 years! It's called the 'Corona diet!......Guys, Guys! Where you going?"
  23. Coronavirus

    "Couldn't do 7 days, went out on day 4 and group hugged all at Slimming world instead then coughed all over the pub carvery on day 5, limited my coughing to people on pub night for day 6."
  24. Coronavirus

    I'll be gobsmacked if I find out us and the Yanks are the two countries out of everyone else who put economic interests a bit higher than the rest of the world, shocked I tell you. I fucking loathe the fact that these cunts keep getting voted in by people in certain areas of England and they're not even hiding the fact that there's going to be deaths AND THEY'RE NOT GOING TO DO MUCH ABOUT IT. USA and Britain, cunts who've been chosen by the misguided or other cunts or now going to have blood on their hands, (they have already but they're taking the piss now). It's all about the bottom line and has already been alluded to, they'll get the answers that suit them and dismiss the ones that don't.

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