snakehips

How about a new programme called: They Think They're a Celebrity, Put Them In There. We can all phone up for tossers who we would really like to see the back of. May I start with Davina McCall and that Jamie Oliver character. Oh, and that Jade Goody lass/thing.

FUCKIN' WOOSH OF THE CENTURY

Got home yesterday afternoon so feeling rather tired this evening following numerous games of Twister (minus the mat) with wor lass

If I can get a ticket I might just come and annoy you. Can't really see a problem getting a ticket as I doubt they're sold out.

She pissed quickly? Oh fuck ye's!

Where's Baron Von Fat and his 'Hey guys, whats going on in this thread?' when you need him? 30 pages. Hmmmm. For what it's worth, I can't get on to N-O when I'm home so I can't really comment on how good/bad it is. This place does for me. Rob once compared this place to a gentlemen's club (albeit one with laydees) and I suppose that is what it's like. It's a bit like being in a pub with your mates; I can sit and listen or I can join in when I want to. Although I have yet to meet any of the fuckwits on here, I feel as though I know them and enjoy their company. It is nice to be able to switch the fuckers off though at times! Glancing through the pages (too much to read for me, I'm afraid) someone mentioned the big articles? They put me off something rotten on the old board. Some folk enjoyed posting long texts of what they thought were intellectual, well thought out hardened debate but were, in actual fact, just crap basically. They had obviously spent a great deal of time (wasted imo) typing them in order to impress but they were just a waste of time reading. Anyway, where's Smithers when a man wants another brandy?

I missed the maths bit out!

I was just looking for something to clean the fingerprints off me cd's with! I love it when I get home and flick (no pun intended) through some of the stuff you lot have got up to. Magic!

you thievin' twats, I'll kick your fuckin' heed in! Was there in the summer and chucked a coin in.

Perish the thought! I take great offence at the mere suggestion that I would use another name! For four years of these reincarnations of the toon boards I have been the same suave, sophisticated, debonair, intelligent poster. Never I tells ye, never! Oh, and if I ever find the cnut who used my name in True Faith a couple of issues back I'll....well, I don't know what I'll do (shucks! once a weakling, always a weakling)

No-one. As long as we have people in the world who want to kick others in the teeth, we have a situation of sadness. As long as we have the desire to kick others in the teeth, we have the potential for someone to kick mine in - and I would be exceedingly depressed if that were to happen. Do unto others as you would have done to yourself. To wish to kick someone in the teeth is just resorting to neanderthal man and does nothing for your self esteem, or the esteem that others hold you in. To want to kick someone's teeth in is just mind-numbingly childish and, for want of a better word, pathetic. Jamie Oliver and Davina McCall (sorry she's a lady - does that make me less of a man?) excepted. You just knew it was coming, didn't you!

'Always look on the bright side of life, du-doo, du-doo du-doo du-doo. Always look on the bright side of life. When you're chewin' on life's gwistle, just give a little whistle.

You could be right S/O, you could be right. Remind me, how many players have the press got us signing so far this year??

Sorry for laughing T/R, but that lot just reads like a scene from a sit-com!

Must admit that my immediate reaction when I see us linked to a foreign player for £2m is that he must be shit and not worth buying. If he was any good he would cost a lot more imo. Probably just a public threat for Nobby to start putting some crosses in (as some are suggesting he's lacking in), or else!

Hmmm, just found this! What utter bunkum! FACT! Men who dance are real men. Men who don't are just potatoes with legs. Men who dance are the best lovers (of women). FACT! In a Cosmopolitan survey of 250,000 women who knew how to achieve the best orgasms, 99.9% said men who dance were the best way to achieve one. FACT! Men who don't dance just wish they could and their wives/girlfriends do also. FACT! Ithangu

Pay attention at the back!! Professor Hips informed all and sundry on here some months ago that the best places to meet/see/oggle women are indeed supermarkets and libraries.

some say I am his double

Q. Reports were that it was a set of garden furniture, but what actually was it that you stole from Asda by hiding it up your ass? A. It was a sawn off table leg, I tell you!

Trouble at mill? Such a shame. *sniggles*

Don't know about hamsters, like, but I couldn't half go a good beaver right now, make no mistake. Hamsters = smelly. FACT!

Quite right T/R, a lass should always go out with an older man. Btw, what time did you say you'd be round for your weekly session?

Sorry LM, but that just comes across as somebody who is pissed off that we won yesterday. Yes Owen's goals are doing good for us - that's his fuckin' job - but how many has he created on his own? Probably none from what I can think. That means it is the team who are creating things for him - something that indicates they are doing something right. 'Owen's goals' implies that without them we would struggle. Yes, that's correct but what about other teams who rely heavily on a certain striker, such as Arsenal and Manure? Once Henry and Van Horse stop scoring, things aren't just as they should be - no different from us. We are just coming out of an injury problem of fuckin' gargantuan proportions imo and only now will we be able to tell how things really are with our team. I still suspect Souness is the wrong man for the job, but it is only now that we will be able to judge properly. I know, we all do , you're opininion of Souness but, as I said, that post you made just sounded sour grapes to me. Maybe it is just me, but it sounded like a really negative post just to keep your anti-Souness stance on track.

Shit! Just been screaming at the BBC *spit* website 'where's the fuckin' team news, where's the fuckin' steam for the game? What the fuck is going on??'. Just realised you lot turned your clocks back last night/this morning!

Have been thinking for a couple of weeks now that had it not been for Chewsee's billionaire, this season could well have been one of the best for years.