Chronic the Drug Wasp

And if it went in Rob Lee would piggyback him round the Gallowgate, arm aloft.

Can't remember any of the others compiling a glossy brochure showcasing himself to prospective buyers during our fight against relegation either. He is a complete cunt.

Even after all this time just the mention of his name and I instinctively want to cave his fucking head in.

It's quite possible that something is going on, as our 'French connection' Simon Stainrod is in town til after Stoke.

Simpson is the best right-back we've had since Habib Beye...

Whilst I'm never one to stem the flow of a Dalglish pile-on, but didn't he sign Solano for us? Pretty sure he did like.

I remember Bruce as a player showing nowt but contempt when it came to us. Then when Bobby's stint as manager was coming to an end, I remember him trying to talk himself into the job with references to his proud Geordie roots and that. The bloke's a fucking arsehole.

Can't see them trusting him with more funds. The drunken bastard should've chucked it for good after Blackburn. I often wonder what our trophy cabinet would look like and where we'd be now if he had.

The Guard. Better than expected, canny funny.

What they done? I see a load of Gooners arrested before KO They've done nowt - that's my point. They look thoroughly bored by the whole event.

Just about to kick off in the knock-out stages of the Champs League at the San Siro, atmosphere's absolutely electric, noise is deafening & that thing the Milan fans have done with the cardboard looks fucking mint... cut to the Arsenal fans and it's like a sea of crash test dummies on their tab breaks. What a bunch of cunts.

Me and my lass did absolutely fuck all for it, on account of it being the biggest load of bollocks going. What kind of people need telling when they should be romantic? Fucks sake.

Little bit out of Newcastle, but I went to Escobars over the metty a couple of months back and it was fucking mint and I shall definitely be going again. Been to Cafe Med in Jesmond a couple of times and was canny. I've always liked Luciano's over Kingston Park, but I've heard it gans to shite when busy. Keep away from Piccolino's near the Quayside, though - it's one of the worst restaurants I've ever been in.

Just seen some of the locals' reactions to his sacking and they all sounded like they were having a stroke. Clark has probably told the chairman to fuck off or something in the heat of the moment.

Ha, class!

At least yesterday highlighted the fact that if you're serious about trying to challenge the top sides in this league then Perch, Guthrie, Simpson & Williamson have no place in your squad, let alone first 11. The most obvious positive is that Cabaye & Tiote are now on their way back.

Guitar technical 'wizardry' bores the arse off me. I'd rather hear someone like Kurt Cobain fucking about on a £20 nylon stringed, 3/4 sized acoustic.

This thread inspired me to get my Jam DVD out. Two of my favourite sketches ever:

I really like cricket, in a lot of ways I like it more than football. Top level football these days is played by idiotic arseholes earning salaries that those saving lives could only dream of and if my love of NUFC somehow were to die, I doubt I'd ever go out of my way to watch a football match again. I absolutely hate a lot of what football has become, it's not the game I grew up with and couldn't get enough of. However, nothing will ever happen in the world of cricket to make me feel the elation I do when Newcastle score a goal or win a match against anyone, nevermind Sunderland. The flip side is the depression I feel when we concede/get humped, but it's worth it. Cricket fills in for NUFC over summer, sport wise. All other sports can fuck off, I can't stand them.

Just not funny at all. However, the acting could've been worse so that's a plus point. Well done for trying something that the majority of people wouldn't dare, keep at it and you might start writing some half decent material over time, you never know.

Class that. So is this:

Apparently they swilled a bar server after they refused them drink for being cunts. The doormen should've put their teeth in the back of their heads. Unfortunately I was in close proximity to this lot on Tuesday night and came to the conclusion that there is, in fact, a time and place for a terrorist attack.

If that happens then Pardew is on glue.

He is now.