Ayatollah Hermione

Think we’ve had a combined half an hour across two games where we didn’t look like half-fit Sunday League competition winners

And keepers are usually the easiest players to get special dispensation for too. If Darlow is genuinely fucked with long COVID and Dubravka and Woodman were fucked, they would let us play an unregistered Gillespie, I’d imagine

Especially considering how much he’s benefited from obscene luck in the past two seasons

Aye, I’m off to Edinburgh in October so you can mark your calendars for a passing asteroid to obliterate us around then when you’re at it

How is getting knocked out of the cup not the dictionary definition of losing ffs? Does he think we get a second leg after pens?

My local Tesco Express was out of sweet chilli rice crackers, if that counts.

We have this (fucking shit) station on at work called Greatest Hits FM or something and they played a few Stones songs as a tribute to Charlie Watts this morning. You’d think they’d have Sympathy for the Devil, Get off My Cloud, Paint it, Black; things where his drumming was a driving force of the track. Nope, we got Miss You and Ruby Tuesday

Get yourself cooking to this, it’ll be the best soup you ever make

Just about every time our form has picked up slightly under Bruce, there’s always been the sense that the players have managed to galvanise themselves. Can’t imagine they have it in them to do it again, especially when the likes of Ritchie and Lascelles are clearly worse than they were a couple of seasons ago.

So if Willock had turned us down, we’d have had space for precisely one player? Bruce has regressed these players so much that nobody will even bid for them

If my mate was any indication, they spent most of the game in the concourse

Fucking hell, firmly in Pardew territory now.

It’s the province of fuckwits who think 22 lads turn up on a Saturday and the ones with the least hungover players wins and the manager has no bearing on proceedings

Aye, the fucking manager and his cronies are up there with him

Graeme Jones playing the Shakespearean long con to oust Bruce by giving him shit advice

I thought Willock was hard up for fitness because of lack of minutes? He’s on track to play the full 90 here. What a fucking shambles

Maths is for fat nerds. FACT

How fucking lazy is our team? Either that or they’re still half fit

Three centre halves and two of them are marking nobody at any given time. Schar marking fresh air for the goal, a non existent midfield with Almiron totally wasted. Shit ref, shit game, 37 and a half more games of this fuck me

I see the “let’s ref like the Euros” mandate didn’t extend to this prick

Wouldn’t surprise me if Carroll came back

To scrape 17th, it probably is a decent squad and that’s all he’s bothered about

Well, when you’ve had to sing “I’m too Sexy” for most of your adult life, COVID is probably tame compared to that mental anguish

Are you getting dreads to go with it?

Not to be too fatalistic but you can see a player dying after catching it rumbling over the horizon. Just have to look at how it fucked Darlow