Ayatollah Hermione

“Can you read me that back? That’s the one, the Ryder Special. Extra chillies on the kebab to keep the hair on me baalz! Over and out, laters Abdul”

Road rage is for sexually frustrated beta cucks

Which stage of grief is this?

Fussy bastard

When I was in Leeds, they had a poster in the window of some shit bar advertising two pints of something for £6 and no word of a lie, printed on the poster was “SSP: £3.40” They could peel an orange in their back pocket with a boxing glove on.

I.e. “I’ll be ringing around the clubs next week to see who they don’t fancy”

Players that could potentially still come good with the right management, no good. Lazy whoppers past their best who actively bring the entire team down, oh yeah

The bit on 8 out of 10 Cats when he’s on about blowing everyone away with his seal clubbing prowess “It was like a trolley dash”

Was funny as fuck, sad news.

Testing out the new IPTV with their match tonight; it has two separate streams, one with Burton commentators and one with Sunderland’s and you’ll never guess which ones are fairly relaxed and which ones are slagging the ref off incessantly because he didn’t give a corner

Bet there’s some 10/10 trim gets in there

And watching that midfield, Willock would have been ideal breaking onto Tierney’s crosses and Smith-Rowe’s knocks in behind. What a shame. Toney has absolutely bossed £50m White too. They’re mid-table for life if they keep conducting business like this

We’re in a populist VAR future where they’re only blowing for fouls if someone is powerbombed through the crossbar

47 seconds into a new season and Tyler spent about 30 of them talking about Arsenal’s kit

I really hope this shit “poem” trend fucks off. What a load of shite

Causing that kind of terror sounds like terrorism to me.

Aye, how the fuck does this not constitute a terror incident? Almost certainly he'll have had "mental issues"

Aye, the numbers on public transport have definitely swung in the favour of maskless fat cunts. Let’s get a few more of them done in by the end of the year, I say.

Anyone have the boom/bust cycle photo to hand?

Aye, I think the reality is that they’ve overspent on absolute shite in recent years and James will be on some wage packet. I think they have the core of a good team; good keeper, solid centre halves, great left back, two quality strikers and Allan and Doucoure are two players that Rafa will absolutely get the best out of. Not a lot of depth but I think they’ll have a good season, wouldn’t shock me to see them finish above a Kane-less Spurs

Stringer Bell playing Knuckles in Sonic 2 is very, very funny. What a timeline we live in

I think Townsend is there to put balls on the head of Calvert-Lewin and Richarlison and then Gray is a decent back-up for £2 million IYAM. Longstaff from Sigurdsson is a bit of a downgrade but at the same time, the former isn’t an alleged wrong ‘un

They’re saying an accident is the most likely outcome as well. Fair play to the lad for getting away with it, I say.

Messi going to France is basically semi-retirement and that’s a FACTAMUNDO

I love how the cheeseburger thread has 6 pages in that screenshot alone Six pages of crack about some tramp carrying around cheese slices in his pocket, what a world.