Ayatollah Hermione

By the end of pre-season now, fuck me

I don’t know a lot about babies but I know they keep getting bigger and they do it quite quickly. 40 quid is a complete joke.

Birmingham have retired Bellingham’s number ffs

Looks like the new Grimsby top.

Paul Merson is definitely holding betting papers on SSN, like. The dopey, alkie cunt.

Did Man City get a stand-alone “Trophy Presentation” on Sky? Or is that just reserved for clubs that haven’t won anything but the Champions League, the Super Cup and the Domestic cups in the last 30 years?

I’ll think you find an 15 goal win for Luton and a 6-0 win for Charlton sees them down so I’ll have less of these “facts” and “stats”

Probably safe since their goal difference is about 10-12 goals stronger than the teams below them but there’s still a chance if the bottom teams win their games. Barnsley play Brentford so they’re probably gone, Hull are in free fall so you’re probably looking at one of Charlton or Luton. And then Wigan could get a points deduction and get relegated if they don’t win tonight against Fulham who can still be automatically promoted. It’s all far more interesting than Chelsea pushing for the top 4.

Be a big dog and watch The Championship goals come in like me.

I do worry that they’ve fucked it by banning Bein but I have no idea if that gives the PL any real legal excuse to block it.

Arsenal can officially #PackItIn

You can trace the downfall of civilisation to this day, I believe.

Aye, absolutely absurd. And then he has the cheek to wonder why Matty Longstaff is wanting to leave to get football.

Let’s hope this summers tactic of “Buy players from Motherwell” is a master stroke because the lack of quality is ridiculous. The terrible injury record combined with erratic Graham Carr scouting, the fucking manager and the tightened schedule might make next year very grim indeed.

The memories of this lot are getting shorter and shorter. Well, he’s oversaw a total regression of the side but tomorrow is another day.

They keep firing out all these negative stats and records about our team and they still can’t connect the dots that the manager is shit

Everyone just playing where they want, it seems like. Brucie’s Beef Dip Football

A lot of positive news about the Oxford trials so I’m eagerly awaiting the soul-crushing bad news that will follow. Like it grants immunity but you grow an extra nose on your gooch,

Andy Carroll to play centre half and be involved in the rearguard action to earn us a famous 0-0 draw

If he ever plays Andy Carroll at centre half, he needs sacked on the spot.

Lovely touch about the Metros being cancelled yesterday. That sort of local flavour is what makes your stories come alive.

I love how Blackburn and their flash in a pan title win is on the level of those other three in their mind They’re similar to Blackburn in that they’ll not be in the Premier League for fucking years, I suppose

Announce administration.

Rafa’s fault that he didn’t leave the manual around for the players so Bruce couldn’t stop them all going drastically backwards too.

I think they’ve just went to Category A status off the back of promotion being pretty much assured. Whereas, I think we’re not even a letter on the alphabet. Probably just a vague sound like “Pleh” or one big fart noise.