Ayatollah Hermione

Me and you will get down the baths and hold hands while we jump in together.

My mate was talking to a kid who works there and they've got the football teams staying there, aye. Saw the Swiss lot coming in when we were down the Americana festival.

That splash coming off that bald lad on the fourth dive He might as well have done a bomb for all the good it caused.

Winning the relay at school.

Steven Fletcher will cost more than Ba and Cisse. Oh Marty. Another in the long line of strikers they'll pay a bomb for who won't last more than 2 seasons. Jones, Bent, Gyan, Fletcher.

Should ban the fuckers from the city. Which tbf, would just mean them going back to East Boldon and Boro.

Ridiculous how fast that's went. I bet Bobby would have loved this team as well.

I think our front 6 of Tiote, Cabaye, Jonas, Ben Arfa, Ba and Cisse is as good as anyone's in the league but as said, when injuries hit any of those, we're left with inferior replacements. Though Marveaux looks a very tidy player, it must be said. You lose Ba, Shola has to start which he literally can't do anymore. Lose Ben Arfa, you either move Gutierrez forward and put in Gosling/Amalfitano into the midfield or Obertan goes wide right.

I'm not one for throwing out bannings like but he's literally incapable of discourse with people if he doesn't like them and at this point, he seems to not like 70% of the board.

Vicious lot, man when they're scorned. Ye watching the weightlifting? Wouldn't want to cross these lot after a few pints in the Raby

I honestly think we'll give these a hiding. I have absolutely nothing to back that up and still think they'll make some canny signings, I can just feel it in my knackers.

Aye, we're fighting on four fronts this year (if we manage to have a decent run in the domestic cups obviously) and the kids will play a role in that. I actually think we'll see Ferguson and Sammy used off the bench a lot as impact players, along with Big Head, French Bread. That's quite a bit of pace for sides to cope with late on.

Aren't the lads on today?...

aye, it's class. Proper John Woo style leaps through the air from these Koreans and the Danish lasses just clothesline them to the deck. Was a stretcher job on the first day for on of them because some Spanish Tiote wiped this poor lass out when she was horizontal. The lads were a bit scared of falling on the leisure centre floor though. Obviously never played some fat lads at 5-a-side.

Louise Bergaard from Danish handball: Lush in action.

Wouldn't mind him sticking around for cover/rotation but I think Pardew might see him as expendable with Perch, Tavernier and Santon all being able to play there.

Nowt shitty about beer gardens but I get your point. Nobody else watching the handball then? Lasses are better than the lads because they seem a bit more violent but proper end-to-end stuff this one atm.

Not sure he's an out and out striker, is he? Like you say though, plenty players have looked good at that level but fail to do anything later on. Campbell got player of the tournament at the Milk Cup though and has wom the same young player award that Xavi received at his age so could very well be the business.

Think Bigi looks the best of the lot like, especially for being just 18. Hopefully Ferguson starts the next two friendlies to get him some fitness because he looks like he could turn into a useful player.

Fee agreed according to some Guardian journo.

I kna, bloody hell.

Isabelle Gullden - Handball is immense but pics don't do her justice. Spain's number 2 in the volleyball atm.

Agreed. Watched that and thought "Aye, we're pretty good like" which I think was Boyle's intention. Loved the handball today, mind. Genuinely exciting, fast paced sport with some amazing lasses. All round victory.

Canny has lost all meaning after doing that.

Check the number 9 for the Swedish lasses. Shit the bed.