Ayatollah Hermione

Can't believe he's managed to become head writer with the level of his journalism like. He never proof reads, asks shite questions, can't write a decent article, plucks out transfer names out of a tombola.

He's here more than he is Liverpool.

The kid is a sack of potatoes? Some gene pool, that. Was he a mackem?

Couldn't think of a final line IIRC so just threw Fried Chicken in there.

I reckon if I saw us win the FA Cup, I'd probably cry tears of joy. Then cry when I woke up 4 days later and saw how much I'd spent on drink

That Kone looks like a canny little player for Wigan. Hope Southampton get roundly bummed next.

I heard he called John Carver a fanny so he was too busy picking his teeth up off the floor for 90 minutes. Any truth in that?

Bound to pop up on a dodgy stream. I reckon we'll see a new first 11 for it.

fucking hell, you lot. Some of us have got hangovers, Can we not talk about Demba Ba being class instead?

Funerals and when overtaken with the sheer beauty of St. James Park

The place next to Rosie's is doing £2 Peroni's on matchday apparently.

I shit myself today To see, if I still feel

First one is quality, Andrew. If you like Zelda at all, you'll love it since it's basically just that with some mechanics ripped out of Portal later on.

Wrote his statement in hieroglyphics, the daft caveman.

Bravado Dave strikes again.

Ye mad twat. The day I feed on your scraps is the day you'll find me wanking off in a pub toilet in disgrace.

If you replace all mention of "Hurt" in Johnny Cash's cover of it to "shit", the song is forever ruined.

I can take that every so often tbh. If he's buying me a burger in The Strawberry, I'm on board.

I'd quite like to have a pint with CT because I imagine getting drunk and singing to Abba with him would be alright really in a social club wedding do sort of way. Would go on the lash with Fish just to see him try and tap lasses up.

Why is there one left on? One for Wolfy, I think.

That closing ceremony was an unmitigated packet of shit.

On a gentler note, the closing ceremony, to me, is a metaphor for how quickly we're going to go back to having complete shit up and down our culture. X-Factor's back next week! REAL PASSION

When you have sex, all this anger goes away. PM Jay Jay Sea, he'll sort you out.

Can't believe it's even went this far.

I'm doing the shopping tomorrow and I might actually take that up