Kitman

Our previous signings from Inter were Pistone, Emre and Obafemi Martins. The portents are favourable then

Didn't she front Miami Sound Machine?

We've only had since last January to find a decent striker. You can't rush these things. I honestly think Llambias looks at the squad and says, corblimey look at all the strikers we've got - Best, Lovenkrands, Ameobi, Ranger, Ba - don't know why we need to sign another one, I'm not Harry fucking Redknapp you know. And because most of the strikers we do have are utterly shit, no one will take them off our hands so it's catch 22.

He's like a "new signing" so we don't need a LB and with Best scoring two when he was out of favour he'll be like a new signing too, so we don't really need to buy a striker either! With 2 new signings the squad will be too big......we'll need to sell someone on big wages

Have a good 'un

If we sign him, Pardoo will be dropping a bolek all the time

I wonder if the club are using the same website?

I heard she wanted a four year deal

No doubt the back up plan is in full swing now. Looking forward to a fair few signings over the next 3 days.

Great artist, strange voice

I clearly remember her first hit on TOTP, she was beautiful "But I do know.......Mandinka-aaah" Now she'd be singing "But I do know.......kebab and chips" The years have not been kind. She looks like a fat bloke in a wig these days.

Are you stupid or something? DEPORT HIM! DEPORT HIM NOW!

Disappointed tbh. Was hoping for Ironsides to add much needed steel to our defence and Hercule Poirot for his cultured feet. We'll probably ever get Kojak anyway (why would he come here?), it's more likely we'll sign Miss Marple at the last minute as a consolation.

Side effects include... Dizziness, Fatigue, Mood Swings, Shola Ameobi, Muscular Cramping. That's a good point. Has Shola been observing Ramadan permanently for the last 12 years?

Fasting from sunrise to sunset must have an effect on energy levels. Cheese savoury stottie would sort it.

It's plainly a police fit up. Ranger would have popped that mofo with an uzi, no way he'd resort to hitting him.

Pepto Bismol might shift that for you

I wonder if we will cut him loose. Doesn't sound like anyone was interested in him really. The lad seems to be a sandwich short of a picnic, these incidents seem to come along regularly.

Exactly. Very disappointed Joey has gone. In fact, no, scratch that. I'm fuckin fuming. Not at the player but at the fucking imbeciles who are trying (and failing big style) to run the club! Who's next? If we should believe Joey, everybody with ambitions is next. Yeah, he's shown ambition by joining QPR, ambition to fatten his wallet. Looked miserable as fuck on T.V., guess he's pissed the only side that came in for him are odds on for the drop He only knocked back a wage cut at Newcastle. How far should a player go to not be a greedy bastard? Play for free? Not saying that but both him and Nolan have moved for money. Jose believes he will be playing champions league so moved for footballing reasons, which I can understand They all move for money. It's not the only reason as you point out, but it's right up there. I don't see anything wrong with that, prof footballers are all basically mercenaries anyway. If someone offered me a few extra grand to join their company I'd be off like a shot, especially if I didn't feel wanted or appreciated by my bosses. Doubly so if they tried to get me to take a pay cut into the bargain. It wouldn't/won't matter if he's adequately replaced.

It's not his best position though. To be fair Joey's best position was holding his ankles for Big John in the prison showers....

This sort of away fixture is tailor made for Joey Barton

Cricket is brilliant. Anybody who dislikes cricket should be deported to Russia.

Cricket is brilliant. Anybody who dislikes cricket should be deported to Russia.

Nah, the club should distribute a set of accounts to every season ticket holder, to wave vigorously above their heads whilst the announcer reads out selected highlights from the balance sheet

Except he's not a striker, is he??? he will be