Smooth Operator

How Ravtash check out page 9 towards the bottom of the page you'll find an astonishingly similar joke!

He's the new Jan Molby!

The day my daughter was born, could hear the cheers form St James whilst waiting in the hospital 63596[/snapback] A real man would have been at the match tbh.

What have Gary Glitter and George Best got in common? They've both ended up having one "tot" too many!

What have Gary Glitter and Swan Vesta's got in common? They both come in little yellow boxes.

Has anyone got the full list of answers? Don't post it on here cos it could well spoil it for people, a pm would be appreiciated.

Is there not a height requirement for this job so you can "oversee" the hangings successfully? You'd be fucked Wacky.

All are welcome with a special discount for Toontastic members. We're hoping to make it a three piece band but are currently struggling to find a female member to play the blue vein trumpet, any takers? We practice 7 nights a week 62847[/snapback] Can i just add that I am looking for a female forum member to tune and grease my pink oboe, it's been blowing duff notes for a couple of weeks now and needs sorting out! Bridget (aka Vinegar tits) need not apply.

So you left a half bottle in the club? You probably spent like £3 on that you just wasted it. Disgraceful... 62792[/snapback] Don't be silly, he shared it with a mate... you can always ask for two straws, you know... 62795[/snapback] Something for the ladies!

I meant the snogging going on. Canny funny like. Do they still hire out Ikon for the afternoon of the last working day before Xmas/Easter by the way? 62786[/snapback] Think one of the departments still books Ikon like but thank the lord Jesus I don't work there. We usually arrange our parties to coincide with the other departments so the fanny count increases but this year some bright spark has arranged it a week before anyone else is having there's!

I was bought an acoustic when I was 10 for Xmas, got lessons too but i was useless and the teacher wanted me to learn all this classical bollox so i gave it up. Sold the thing at a car boot a few months back for a fiver, i'm now concentrating on my new musical project with my recently unemployed associate Wacky Jnr - we're called The Dualling Banjo String's. We're playing the Archer tomorrow night. It's a sight and sound to behold!

Our manager here at the DWP has already warned us about our conduct on Friday for our Xmas do! At these school disco's Alex, was Gary Glitter on the one's and two's by any chance?

These are strange things like. Anyone got any good stories from them? First one I went to was at the hotel i used to work in a few years ago, little did i know that everyone got dressed up smart, i strolled in with jeans and a shirt on! All the lasses were in gowns and the blokes in trousers and shirts tucked in! I felt like a right spare part. So i got myself mortal on the free hotel bar and went to try and pull the lass i fancied, knowing she had a boyfriend I turned on my alter ego - Smooth Operator! Incredibly she resisted so i moved onto a lass i knew fancied me, I asked if i could buy (it was a free bar - she was a bit thick - from Gateshead!) her a drink but she declined saying that I should've been chatting her up in the first place and that she wasn't gonna be second choice! So after brushing aside another knockback i went to sit with the lads for a bit craic, seeing i wasn't letting the knock back bother me the lass who fancied me couldn't resist a bit of the Operator and she came over and invited me to hers where the party was moving onto, so we got in a taxi back to hers and turns out it was a private party just for the 2 of us! Canny!

Since when did this forum become all about this Mark character and his nights out? I for one am sick of hearing where he's been, where he thinks is shite and where he thinks is good. And as for having gone clubbing and only having 4 and a half bottles......

Aye it's a case of black man can't jump with this twat, can't do anything else of professional footballer should be able to either. I would have rather fielded 10 men than had Ameobi on the pitch yesterday, in a team that played shite yesterday he stood out as the ultimate footballing joke. It's a sad indictment when i say i'd rather have Crouch up there instead of this Walker wanker!

A lass i was seeing rang me on night shift at the hotel iused to work at when i was shacked up with a female guest. My pager went off so i used the phone in the guests room to answer the call not knowing at the time who it was. The female guest shouted "put that cock back inside me" as I was on the phone!

As the old saying goes.........."They that doth own and manage Sunderland and dare to dine within the city walls of Newcastle upon Tyne will be glassed".

Wacky, when I first saw the title of this thread I thought your lass had popped her reebok classics!

Mint, especially the Canada - USA goal mouth action!

I can confirm this tale, the big one is like Nanny from Count Duckula, fucking massive. The geoff capes of the rug munching world, beard n all. I heard she can face press 50 rugs in one sitting. 60688[/snapback] does the little one look like a rat with a shaved head and lennon glasses? Always decked out in some form of NUFC clothing? 61282[/snapback] That's the one, she seems to wear the trousers in the relationship with Count Duckula. Can't see why it such a big deal, if i accidently found myself in the lasses bogs I wouldn't be that bothered like and it's always a treat for the ladies! I've noticed signs on the women's bogs at St James' say if any blokes are caught in there accidently or not then theyy'll lose their season tickets! Be careful lads!

Decidedly average.

Yeah, that film was shit though, not a patch on the proper ones. 60885[/snapback] It was good for clips of Swank jumping around with her tits flying all over the place - perhaps not for you like. I might be wrong like. My name's Daniel and I used to get called Daniel san for a short time at school, i took it well though (I did the classic crane move on everyone who called me it!)

A true great, I loved those Karate Kid films, was it Pat in the Karate Girl film with Hilary Swank?? Daniel san! RIP

Come on where's the link!

She looks good on both photo's to me and even more attractive now she's ditched that knob of a husband, mutual seperation my arse. BTW how the fuck has George Best's death thread turned into an arguement over whether Jessica Simpson is good looking????