Monkeys Fist

Impressive that they stole a seat from the SoL for this one.

Re. Angela Rayner. Let’s assume, contrary to all the evidence, that she purposely dodged whatever tax she’s accused of dodging ( which she clearly hasn’t , but that’s not particularly important to the media scrum). 1. She’s done everything possible to put whatever error she made right, at the earliest opportunity available to her 2. If the error she’d made was deliberate, it would show up clearly in the investigations and processes she’s willingly submitted herself to. So far, it’s as she said it was. 3. She’s offered, unequivocally, to pay whatever difference exists between what she paid and and what she should have paid. 4. If, as Housing Minister, she’s made a genuine mistake, surely this is the perfect example of a process that is not fit for purpose- if she got it wrong, then there must be countless others in similar positions to her who’ve fucked it too? 5. Badenoch screaming for her resignation is just beyond comical- her party put Liz fucking Truss in charge of the country,… any cries of “incompetence” from her lot should be be replied to with a slap in the chops with a massive fish and a gentle shove towards the door. 6. She’s made a mistake and is going about rectifying that in the textbook way that she should, but, because she’s not on her knees sucking the right wing media bosses, she’s going to be crucified for it for the rest of her career. It fucking stinks worse than the Isak affair.

Mate, all joking aside, don’t take your mutt on holiday with you. They’re a massive investment of time/pain in the fucking arse, even more so than just a single kid, and you’ll end up resenting the little fucker for “ruining” your holiday, even though it had no choice. Put it in kennels, have your holiday free of shit bags and rabies concerns, come back and watch the little cunt go apeshit when you turn up to collect him. It won’t give a fuck if it’s in Tuscany or Torremelinos, or Tynemouth.

In parts, aye.

By the way, looked it up last week and the gifts for 27th anniversaries are suggested as “jet and sculpture”. I reckon she’s going to be buzzing when she sees this, mind.

Look, let’s get one thing clear. You don’t make holiday destination recommendations. You ask for them, then ignore any you get. Clear? Good… as you were everyone

Ftm.

Veni, non Vidi, fucked off sharpish.

27 years wedding anniversary today. Mostly in cruise control, occasional emergency braking, regular services and oil change are key.

TL:DR Teams will learn how to peel the O’nion.

I was nuts-deep in a Swedish lass in the south of France in Sep 1994.

So, what you’ve just admitted to here, is that you’re an illegal immigrant who came here by crossing the Channel with no documentation on a small(ish) boat?

Not sure they’d be too keen if they only stocked Ponteland United F.C. tops either, mind

Depends how good your plastic surgeon is. For example, here’s a picture of a bell-end that’s had multiple surgeries and is still functioning ( NSFW, 18+ only, etc etc yadda yadda).

They will be once a local sailor distributes the T-shirts celebrating it to many and far-flung ports.

Belgian ferry worker 1 -“ What’s THAT ?” Belgian ferry worker 2- “ No idea,but I’m scared “ Belgian ferry worker 1- “ Shall we just leave it there and pretend we didn’t see it?” Belgian ferry worker 2 “ Ja, oui, Awè!”

It was more a herbal bewilderment than a penile enrottenment.

Bloody hell. It’ll make the obligatory break in at his Darras McMansion seem like a minor inconvenience.

I once got ferry lag after a trip to Amsterdam.

Did you kick the back of his chair until he snapped, then you stood up and raged at him, he looked at the floor and sat down, whilst the whole plane applauded you, anarl, marra?

Fyp

As ever, 100% from the board’s top knowledge maester.