Monkeys Fist

He’s so late.

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Part-time. wfh at the moment on full pay. If I get this 80% lark, we might not have to sell the kids to former DJs. I had a lean year last year, work wise, so we won’t be dining on caviar these next few weeks, but this’ll go a long way to keeping my ticker from exploding again

Sunak- “ We’ll pay self employed folk 80% of whatever they declared on last years return” Me - “ Fair enough, pleasantly surprised you Tory Cunt- what’s the catch?” Sunak- “ HMRC say you can apply by the beginning of June…” Me -

For the sake of those on the board scratching their head thinking, ” Farro? Is that another one of those weird fucking budgie foods?” Yes, yes it is.

They’re old cunts.

Nasa released the first ever pic of Gemmill’s hoop.

Midgets.

Apparently due to the lack of tourists dropping their food everywhere , Venice’s seagulls have taken to hunting and scarfing down rats. Oh, nearly forgot … @Renton

The Tories are new to this socialism lark, give them some leeway

Surprising, given the close, mutual respect “both” teams have for each other.

Coronavirus: Off-licences added to list of 'essential' retailers https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-52033260

I remember the goal, but afterwards is hazy.

Someone’s getting desperate for arse wipes.

This line in the BBC report about Prince Jug Ears. ”It's not a huge house but certainly big enough to isolate yourself within it. “ Edit: you are seeing half of it in the pic.

I take Candesartan daily. Should I be shitting my pants?

Just went out with the boy for a bike ride, I thought “ We’ll go past Hillheads Farm shop and get some fruit while we’re out.” There’s a big sign at the door saying stay 2m apart, do not go within 1m of till area until called,etc. I looked in and it’s fucking rammed, no one taking a blind bit of notice, and at least 60% elderly and/or fat as fuck. Darwinism.

“ Back to work, you!”

https://youtu.be/akb0kD7EHIk

Six words and you butchered a third of them.

Where are you living mate? What’s the local response to this, are people taking measures or do they think they can shoot their way out of it?

If Hancock truly gave a fuck, instead of seeking 250,000 volunteers, he’d be paying at least minimum wage , and offering work to those who’re without a wage for the foreseeable. They’re all despicable cunts who’ve all had a role in fucking over every aspect of the country that couldn’t provide a profit to them. Rant over

If “managers” actually stepped out of their offices once in a while, and spoke to the grafters, things might actually work.