luckyluke 1 Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Religious figure of your choosing on mode of transportation of your choosing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6308 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Did you hear about the Lancashire transvestite? He's got a wig and a dress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 12768 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 What's black with two broken arms? Colonel Gaddafi's sunglasses! Class Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Paddy & Murphy were out at sea on a scuba diving trip when Murphy turns to Paddy and says: "Paddy, why do these guys dive off the boat backwards"? Paddy turned to Murphy and replied "Murphy, ye bloody eediot, if they dived forwards, they'd still be on da boat, so they would" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 16751 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 I went to a fancy dress shop for a vampire costume for Halloween, the girl behind the counter handed me a Man Utd kit - I said "sorry love, you must have misheard me, I said I wanted to look like a Count!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoCo85 0 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Two fish in a tank, one says to the other "you man the gun, i'll take the wheel" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveTheBobby 1 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Good news for insomniacs . Only 3 more sleeps till Christmas . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38866 Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Can I just say that it's impossible to stalk anyone starring in a pantomime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13883 Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Good news for insomniacs . Only 3 more sleeps till Christmas . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 For week I've been waiting for a celebrity to die so I could post a joke about it. JIM FIXED IT FOR ME! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 27003 Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Two Geordies in a Bakery. Geordie One points to a cake and says "is this a cake or a meringue?" Geordie Two replies, "Nar mate, ya reet, it's a cake." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 12768 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Two Geordies in a Bakery. Geordie One points to a cake and says "is this a cake or a meringue?" Geordie Two replies, "Nar mate, ya reet, it's a cake." Think that's my favourite Geordie joke. Especially when you do it in Manchester with your mate and no fucker in the shop knows what you're laughing at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Point of order, technically Bobby Thompson wasn't a Geordie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 16751 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Two Geordies in a Bakery. Geordie One points to a cake and says "is this a cake or a meringue?" Geordie Two replies, "Nar mate, ya reet, it's a cake." Think that's my favourite Geordie joke. Especially when you do it in Manchester with your mate and no fucker in the shop knows what you're laughing at. I told that to a lad here and he just looked at me blank which made me laugh even more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38866 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Point of order, technically Bobby Thompson wasn't a Geordie Mackem, wasn't he? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Point of order, technically Bobby Thompson wasn't a Geordie Mackem, wasn't he? From Co. Durham. Moved to Whitley Bay like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38866 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Born in Penshaw, borderline at best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Born in Penshaw, borderline at best Borderline!!!!! I'm sorry like but that's a fully paid up book stamped mackem, but any definition. Fair enough we'll let Chester Le Street and Durham off cos there's more toon fans and they're nearer here, but Penshaw!!! FFS. While we're on about Wearside, why do mackems and people from South of Gateshead, call Chester Le Street, Chester Luh Street, when quite clearly Chester Lee Street is the correct way of pronouncing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38866 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Born in Penshaw, borderline at best Borderline!!!!! I'm sorry like but that's a fully paid up book stamped mackem, but any definition. Fair enough we'll let Chester Le Street and Durham off cos there's more toon fans and they're nearer here, but Penshaw!!! FFS. While we're on about Wearside, why do mackems and people from South of Gateshead, call Chester Le Street, Chester Luh Street, when quite clearly Chester Lee Street is the correct way of pronouncing it. I knew that was like a red rag to a bull when I posted it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tooner 243 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Born in Penshaw, borderline at best Borderline!!!!! I'm sorry like but that's a fully paid up book stamped mackem, but any definition. Fair enough we'll let Chester Le Street and Durham off cos there's more toon fans and they're nearer here, but Penshaw!!! FFS. While we're on about Wearside, why do mackems and people from South of Gateshead, call Chester Le Street, Chester Luh Street, when quite clearly Chester Lee Street is the correct way of pronouncing it. erm.......not really stevie. http://www.acapela-group.com/text-to-speech-interactive-demo.html type it into this and give a listen, 'lee' might be the geordie way of saying it.......i know i know .....fuck off yank.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38866 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 We need the verdict of Billy Big Cock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 27003 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Got asked by one of these 'You.Gov' surveys about what I knew about Dwarfs/Midgets? "Very little, to be honest", was my reply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbyshinton 59 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Got asked by one of these 'You.Gov' surveys about what I knew about Dwarfs/Midgets? "Very little, to be honest", was my reply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38866 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Went to my mates James Bond Stag do as Sean Connery at the weekend. Had a great time, and ended up pulling this lass on her Hen Night. Took her back to her hotel and it was going great, so I asked her to to sit on my face… Filthy Bitch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noaliasmike 0 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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