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if you heard a joke today, post it

Dr Gloom

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Elton John was changing the nappy of his new son when he turned to his husband and said "He reminds me so much of you David"

David says "Why, is it his cheeky little smile?"

"No" replies Elton

David asks "Is it his cute little nose?"

"No, it's not that" says Elton

David replies "Then it must be the colour of his eyes..?"

"No," says Elton "he's got shit on his dick."

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Conversation just after getting engaged:


John: At last. I can hardly wait.

Jane: Do you want me to leave?

John: No. Don’t even think about it.

Jane: Do you love me?

John: Of course. Always have & always will.

Jane: Have you ever cheated on me?

John: No. Why are you even asking?

Jane: Will you kiss me?

John: Every chance I get.

Jane: Will you ever hit me?

John: Hell no. Are you crazy?

Jane: Can I trust you?

John: Yes!

Jane: Darling.


For the same conversation a year after getting married read the above from bottom to top.

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A couple of years ago I pulled an 18 yr old lass. She said she'd heard older guys were like fine wine- got better with age.

I told her with me it's because I spent a long time horizontal in the cellar, which she didn't understand.






She fucking understands now. :wank:

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