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Enjoy it! Sounds like a good one indeed.

It’s shaping up to be a pretty good weekend. The wife took the kids to her parents’ caravan yesterday which means that May Day consisted of playing golf, taking an afternoon nap then out for pints with some mates. Woke up fresh as a daisy this morning so out for a massive fry up, bought some more beer on the way home and the plan is to lie on the sofa this afternoon watching three matches and sipping on aforementioned beer. Three points for us would really be the icing on a perfect cake of a weekend.

‘Here lads, you buy Lloyd Kelly for £20m and we’ll give you 5p off a litre of petrol for your silly Fiats’

Today’s mood

Four has been done a few times. I doubt five has ever been done.

I wonder what's the record for times a Prem team has beaten another Prem team in a season?

What's going on here? Is the PIF using NUFC as a money laundering front? I wish they'd get to laundering a bit quicker.

Makes you think

a point doesn’t really do us any favours. Go all out for the win and if we lose, fuck it. We’ll still need a win from the final game either way to be mathematically sure of CL

!970 (sorry if posted before)

FYP 👍

No way you're a big cock! 🍄

From The Arse to Palace to win a trophy. Oooof Excellent.

The irony that absolutely won’t land with him is that by calling out the ex-Arsenal players he’s in turn criticising his own clubs retention policy. Eze & Nketiah left Arsenal to win something

Fuck off European public! Nil points for the UK (was a good song performed well). What's worse, they almost voted fucking Israel as the winner. Absolute shambles. Thank fuck for Austria.

They have exciting players & play good football tbh. This current iteration of Man City play absolutely horrific football at times.

I'm over the moon for Palace. Some good players and their manager seems canny. The more non "big 6" teams that pick up a trophy the better. Couldn't have picked 2 better clubs to win cups this season tbh

I've had nowt for tea like. Was full as fuck.

Greeeeeedy bastard. CT, don't let this lie.

No idea but he’s always there when they win. Was I fuck watching the trophy celebrations. Took the dogs out

Did they get the Tory cunt on? Fucking mong

Ty is Londons equivalent of those two thick girls from Durham on Gogglebox.

Hi, I'm orca Gemmill, I'm cruising around the mouth of the Coquet studying the xS of this area and Coquet Island. What is xS you ask, it stands for expected seals. It's very scientific and based upon studies of thousands of seal hunts, based upon my analysis I will be soon sated beyond belief. I'll explain fully on my podcast, speaking of which the rest of my pod have fucked off a bit further north to cruise the Farne Islands, which they say is teeming with seals, based upon the evidence of their eyes (fucking idiots).