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State of that pitch

Aye, Fabrizio gets his info almost exclusively from agents. Joaos will be briefing interest from all over the shop to get them paid more.

They finished about 30 points behind burnley last season. Top after those five fixtures would be a reasonable shout for us, they'll be lucky to have 3 points.

Rich people wear some weird shit.

I’ve seen people on ket look more coherent than he did on a football pitch

Maybe, but won't help in recouping any transfer fee..?

Talking of mental gymnastics, well, just mental really.....

I'm sure they'll have a clause. It will no doubt come under gross misconduct

If he gets found guilty can they not just tear up his contract? Didn't they get rid of Mutu in similar circumstances? Can't remember the details.

There used to be a shop on Tynemouth front street called “ R. Strain Antiques”. Always got me

They will probably just sell him to their hotel for 75m to do some work there tbh.

They cant have been performance enhancing drugs as he was shit so we can only assume it was fentanyl.

I’m not so sure it’s good news for Chelsea. I’d have thought they’d take a big hit to their P&L were he to be unavailable for a couple of years. If they sack him then they’d take a massive hit.

The man from Boldon, he say:

Even without considering Villa who'll hammer them, the way they think they're going to get points off West Ham, Palace and Brentford suggests a rude awakening

How to spend a day in San Sebastián eating pintxos. Basque country is fucking amazing.

Now just a knocking shop or a students flat if it's off chillie road?

Did they fuck “gift” us a goal either. They were caught out by a faster, stronger team’s high press. I suggest they get used to that

How convenient for Chelsea. Someone who's been utter dog shit on a massive contract