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I really hope he doesn’t go to the Euros with England. He got very little break last summer and has played a lot of football this season so could definitely do with some time off to spend with his missus’ massive chebs.

Okay

No time to rest of your laurels lads, play as team, keep your form and make us proud. Fortiter Defendit Triumphans It's sausage waving time! And making sure everyone is included.

The SMB is a glorious pit of despair currently. Oh noes, the model is broken, Jobe is actually shit, Clarke is being sold, no manager, KLD is in bed with the Saudis, etc. They are fucked mind. Only the already earned points will save them from relegation. Next year with the Frat kid in charge I can seriously see another relegation. Let's hope we can combine that with a successful European push to send them over the top. 🍿

Poor old Benny getting dragged into being associated with that lot

And here it is with the real life audio....

It's a parody account, but odds on some knackers think it's real and try to enlist

It’s funny to see the media narrative, willing Klopp to have this glorious swan song. Which is completely at odds with what virtually every non-Liverpool supporting football fan wants.

Being really good at intimidating officials clearly helps. Especially if you’ve got carte blanche to do so. Yet they brought in a rule aimed solely at Tindall because a few managers didn’t like getting wound up when things weren’t going their way. Hopefully Man City can spoil the party for the insufferable cunts

Another top day for the Troglodytes

Safegate watching today. Foden with a display like that and I bet he's sat there thinking 'Hmmm Philips played yesterday, I hope Hendo is too, oooo I hope my new crochet patterns have arrived when I get home'

I think that footage is based on early Morebattle tribal wear.

I just have marra. 💪

Could easily have got away with just pissing himself and seen all three goals.

This is shewally a pisstake? (Just noticed the NUFC hashtag, still with these it's sometimes hard to differentiate between parody and real life).

Aye, they'd DEFINITELY give PSG, Milan and Dortmund a good game.

A poowa day for massive lads fans, not just a 3-0 win for the mags but they also got beyt as well just to rub salt in the wewnd.

That pass by Schar for Tino too. If that's Van Dijk Klopp would want the cunt given an MBE

Ah fuck, Scotty's kiss of death.

Needs to join the tory party with that level of lying and delusion, the Dutch slaphead prick.

This job is sending him round the twist.

Jess Ennis has just said her throat is hurting cos there was so much action in last night's session. Good lass.

All valid points but we almost need an independent inquiry at the minute to look into the stuff that just goes in this lots' favour. There's absolutely a "you make your own luck" element to it, and maybe it's as much as 90%, but there's no doubt in my mind that this lot get help in a way that I don't think any other team does, including Man United.

Three. I should know cos I've got all of his team's matches sending alerts to my phone, just in case there's some hot Maxi news I can bring to you. YOU'RE WELCOME BTW you SILLIER goose.

The engine on this lad is something else. I mean let alone the goal contributions, throughout the injury crisis he's been an ever present playing across the front line. Carrying the ball and running at people constantly is one of the most exhausting things in football. Doing that non stop playing a ton of games in an injury ravaged squad and coming with goals and assists. Just brilliant. And he's till very young, no doubt some of the raw areas of his game will improve. And yes I will say it. The contrast with ASM couldn't be more stark.

He has lots of potential. If he can become more aggressive defensively then he has a very high ceiling. He can break lines at ease and has pace an power to burn

Norwich 1-0 up. Friendship ended with Norwich.

People from Derby

He’s right th Makes sense.

And, without really wanting to defend referees, they have enough on their plate at the top level. Official timekeeper would make sense. Won’t happen. A bit like my idea (although I’m sure I’m not the only one thinking it) where the var people make the call if they think a decision needs changing, it’s probably too sensible to catch on.

I've got a zip through fleece thing on atm. My dad got me it for Christmas and it's basically something he, at 75, would wear. CT, don't tell him I said this next time you follow him on a dog walk.

I wonder how long pep will persist with Doku as he's their 'weak' link whenever I've seen them? That little cunt foden buries that against us as well the little shit.

Willock made a big difference yesterday and as mentioned on motd we were a little bit more savvy sitting back and not giving the opposition acres of space to run through. Get big Joe back and a striker and hopefully improve next year.

Zero journalistic integrity, this one.

Clone army of Gemmills in the background …

BODYSHAMING MUCH?! OMG.

@Rebekah, @Rebekah! Wherefore art thou?

Look like implants to me but I though @Rebekah might have liked them.

#shitpatteroftheyearnominee Just a labelling system I'm testing, nothing to worry about.

Congrats, you've won the internet.

We've got the weird sounding female commentator on MOTD. I'm not saying this cos she's a lass but when there's a goal she puts on this weird commentator voice, where she sounds like a kid in a playground shouting out pretend commentary when he scores.

I totally get that there's 1m 56s passed between Liverpool being handed the ball back and the goal, so Forest still had a job to do blah blah. But firstly, as they point out in MOTD cos they know their Back to the Future, if Forest get the ball back, EVERYTHING that follows it changes. But secondly, what is going on psychologically with the ref there where he feels that "well I better give the ball back to Liverpool". There's a deep seated need to favour this lot. I feel like a magedia conspiracy theorist here but it's not normal the amount of help they get.

Shirley?

Worst thing we could do selling him. Even if he brings in 9 figures, we won't find a replacement at the same level willing to come to us

You must have some fun memories of your childhood in Handicap.

I assume the judging panel has correctly assessed Sunderland players as Premier League rather than Championship level, and acted accordingly. Don't forget, only Vinicius Jr has more carries into the box than Jack Clarke.