Howmanheyman

Keo.

Are they a 'secret' though?

He's not a twat but a twart as he would say when he would try speaking posh in front of his bohemian London chums.

Didn't know fop but am lead to believe he was asm?

This Celtic kid is one needy hombre just like a sizable proportion of his fellow Tims and blue counterparts. A bit like mackems wearing their colours at Newcastle airport or shopping at the metrocentre in their safc shirts. Needy.

My secret weapon is I was right and am still right all along.

Good tune, Sir.

I blame alcopops. That and wearing shitcatchers for trousers.

Not sure, Gem, on the name but it was filo pastry. Not to dissimilar to a cheese and onion pastie back home just better. Also got a kebab last night from a place we know from previous visits. Absolutely hammers any kebab you'll get back home. Changing the subject, the air conditioning spat out the biggest spider I've ever seen in any place I've stayed, was like a half sized tarantula. Thank Christ it was half battered by the AC unit already.

I've had a couple of pasties or here, (Cyprus), that have been on a par or better than back home. There's a spinach and feta one they do, (don't know it's local name), but it was the dogs nuts and was big enough to share with the missus for luncheon. (well maybe not for CT).

Try another method then. Choose from the following options; 1. Small 2. Average. 3. Above average. 4. Dumplings boiling over. 5. Black eye when jogging. 6. Even Bravissimo said they can't accommodate these puppies. 7. Anything past option 6 requires photographic evidence.

Dr Who. Never seen the fascination, it's fucking dire, man.

What month in 1992 were you born in?

Fucking hell, man!

Interesting that the memories of NUFC games question never seems to go back far apart from the odd one here and there. Keep up the good work, Fishy!

Pease pudding, saveloy dips and stotties.

Tough audience this fucka is, mind.

Similar thing happened to me last month, noticed a big lump down in my goulies so thought I'd better get it checked out, the only thing being that one of my Doctors is a smart looking lass in her early thirties. Guess which one checked me? Yep, Dr Sexy it was. She said it was nothing to worry about so I asked her if it was just a cyst? She said no, it was an extra testicle! I couldn't believe what I was hearing but she said I'd developed an extra testicle as my member was that big that the two testicles I had couldn't produce enough semen to do the cock justice. It was a total shock to the system and as I was struggling to take it all in Dr Sexy dropped to her knees saying she needed to have a go at it before taking me in her mouth. What a dream day that was!

Elton John: "can you feel the love tonight?" (Walker to the core, this lad).

He does a good impression of Eric Idle haggling over a guord or however you spell it. '£10M for thaht? You must be mahd! Go on, it's your turn, offer me £15M!' Brian: '£15M' Pardew: "£15M! He's offering me £15M and me with a dying mother to look after and a poorly donkey to feed!' Brian: "But you told me what to bid! Oh tell me what to bid, please!" Pards: " Offer me 18." Brian: "18." Pards: "18! 18!!! He's offering me 18 for this established French international, a French international who we personally nurtured and who's like a sahn to me etc, etc....."

Shandy drinking puff, couldn't drink cold tea, wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in the day etc, etc......

He needs to bare in mind it's not just his boss who's going to read his shit craic and saying such a big clubs priority is avoiding relegation is a bit shit. Then again, he always claims he's going to attack the cups and I'm struggling to think of a worse record in the cups from any NUFC manager in my time.

When you're at a club as big as Newcastle your first priority is not to get relegated? 'thanks to Mike Ashley's bravery'? What a fucking nugget this bloke is, never mind 'cockney mafia', it's cockney patter that turns my stomach.

Nightshift?