Monkeys Fist

Some 15yr old lad has been killed in Manchester after crashing his e-bike in to an ambulance. These things are fucking insane- the number of fucking wideboys I’ve just barely avoided hitting* as they fly down the wrong side of the road, no lights, no helmets, no fucks given, mental. And they’re basically silent, at least with the unregistered trials bikes you hear the cunts from 3 miles away. * I try my best but the fuckers are too fast.

Oof! However, if you didn’t say “ Laterz, Lolz!” as you headed towards the floor I’m going to be severely disappointed in you.

“It’s a free kick !” ”Oh!! Dudu hits the wall!”

Howmanheyman shudders involuntarily.

“Lawn”

Well burnt. Wonder if HMHM let one go whilst walking past?

Number of kids/ number of fathers of said kids.

Sorry to hear all that SpongeBob mate. Bloody awful. I wouldn’t risk any farts tonight.

The Ladies haven’t aged well…

In other news, Mt. Kilauea has erupted on Hawaii. Here’s the special webcam set up for @Howmanheyman

Mrs. Tapir is like …

I bet my Dad could chin your Dad.

I think it’s a penis.

If I’ve learned anything from my time on this place it’s that “ wuh aal shit and piss the same” ( courtesy of Phstevie).… …Except when HMHM takes interior decorating to Laurence Llewelyn-Bowel levels.

Pint of Gravy?

The old student halls on Coach Lane are ablaze. I’d avoid Coach Lane for the next few hours as it looks like a biggy …

Are you taking the sip?

Any particular reason this song is on your mind (and wall) just now?

Good on you for making a stand… … A STAND!!!!

It’s pretty extraordinary that grown men have devoted so much time, with such risible results, to something they could have settled by going outside and asking a passing fan “ Do you care?”

Tell us you wear adult nappies without telling us you wear adult nappies.

We need a “Dulux” colour name, and an actual colour name tbh. Dulux- “ Home Baked Biscuit “ Actual- “ Shitewater”.

So, technically, you haven’t shit the bed but you have shit the bedroom wall? Cock-eyed Mala would be proud.