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Imagine what he could do if he wasn't headless? Scary thought tbh.

This game had it all: Ice man returns Miley quality Bruce era Lascelles returns Bruce era Joelinton returns Lascelles redemption arc Joelinton redemption arc Schär class Bruno masterclass AG assist and goal Needless Ritchie yellow Dummett slide tackle Yellow cards galore Red card Youth debuts

FFS, you’re talking to me like I’m Gemmill at a taxi rank.

What a season Gordon is having btw, 5 goals and 3 assists, won 2 penalties, had his man sent off in 2 games (iirc?).

I just don’t get the hype around Enzo Fernandez, Miley played him off the park today and they paid £120m for him plus Chelsea fans go on like he’s the best CM in the league . We surely have to stick with Livramento and Trippier at full back going forward, we look more assured and offer more going forward. Gordon with another excellent showing. Chelsea really didn’t offer much tbh, we’re far better than them based on that.

Joelinton. Having a stormer. You know. It's times like these that I learn to rely on my view of the players. And not you clueless wannabes.

Today’s fucking “stick” and he expected it chucked 🙄

Fucking hell 🙂

What you following her for mate?

I'm amicable to starting another one providing @Gemmill begs.

I think he's fucking class and he can do something none of the rest of our midfield does - carrying the ball at pace.

Pochettino claiming it was their worst performance of the season - Mackems will lap it up.

There were a couple of clangers but considering we just mullered a nearly 1bn-value side with three keepers on the bench and barely broke a sweat, you have to say...that Chelsea are really, really fucking shit Howay the lads, bring on PSG, we'll play Karius at CB and still beat them.

Big Stick Energy.

Funny club Chelsea. You have that old skool support of theirs. Then you have all the ones who’ve latched on to them since Harding, then even more so with Abramovich. Yet they all manage to come across as proper fucking cunts

Nice to see a Newcastle legend still taking an interest in our games.

Yeah, but are you amenable to starting another one?

The BBC - ERM, What !!!

Joelinton: Head ❌️ Left foot ❌️ Right foot ✅️

Lascelles: Feet ❌️ Head ✅️

Cucarella wins worst in show.

Playing a big part for an Eddie Howe team playing good football, and he goes home to his lasses massive bangers. I would be buzzing too

Missed this off 🤣

Cheeky cunt. Didn't see him at Port Vale etc.

Tino looked defensively comfortable at left back. I’d keep him there. I liked the look of Alex Murphy when he came on. Miley is going to have to play 3 games in a week v Chelsea, PSG and Man Utd. Mental. An injury crisis always brings the young players through.

And to think some people thought selling ASM was a disaster!

How was Gallagher not booked? Unreal.

Good point about Tino at LB. I love Dan Burn, but you can tell Tino is a better player already

Personally speaking I never doubted them. Great pair of lads. He's absolute cacka this kid. How the fuck he gets in the England squads is beyond me.

I'd make Miley MOTM just cos he shouldn't be able to make it look that easy at 17.

A week with Southgate is a hell of a thing. Palmer. James. Gallagher.

Great ball from AG too.

A Nobel pursuit.

Bruno has dyed his hair blonde. HE MEANS FUCKING BUSINESS NOW.

"I told him not to antagonise the fans. What did I tell you Mehrdad?" "She told me not to antagonise the fans."

‘Great match, useless fans’. I’d love to know just how many away fans/tourists were among the home fans today.

you don't appear to be on your hands and knees, tongue hanging out, cum glasses on. try harder.

I think the main turning point was the ref actually decided to start giving fouls against them, after giving us fuck all first half. His help was the only thing keeping them in the game.

Loved that. Miley was top drawer, did a great job standing in for Longy. Let's hope there's some good news on available players by the time we take on PSG

Having a great game as the fulcrum for the team.

Time to update Joe’s rating too!

Lascelles. What a match he's having. Never doubted him. You lot are full of it.

Staveley looking ill 'Oh FFS how much do we have to spend in Jan? I wanted some new shoes'

Looks like @Monkeys Fist’s hound

Howe must hate the sight of Tonali at training at the moment. Stupid sexy idiot.

That bench has two goalkeepers, two geriatric try hards and some children 😬 EDIT: that’s 3 goalkeepers

If you shout I’ll give you a wave from Forest Hall! Ma Fist’s birthday so I’ll be otherwise engaged. Look for the pointy headed bloke going for a piss every 15 minutes, that’s CT.