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I reckon we probably lose to Everton, but Man United beat Villa, possibly after their goalkeeper gets sent off. Wouldn't be surprised if there's a contentious decision that Villa won't shut up about either. Just a feeling I've got. Let's see what happens.

Looks like we might need another reset. Just the half hour or so this time.

Ah, I see, I was going to send you a pm with all the gubbins, but I’m no good with gypsy shit, so you’ll just have to get fucked

Probably for the best, especially as I've already go a few on board Bought a new suitcase, wife fucked the combination up, had to bolt cutter the lock off. Great start I did manage to retain my calm, but it did mean I had to sink a few in fast order Not her fault obviously

Hard to believe the man speaking has a sofa in his garden, isn't it?

No, for my charm bracelet.

The biggest winner in all of this is Toonpack. Had his SHAME from the other day deleted. And his terrible joke about Asean All-Stars.

It's no £20m for Lloyd Kelly. Rest in peace, Big Mitch. Sleep well.

He’s left Liverpool??? Boooooooo!

I imagine gemmill is absolutely delighted the evidence of the severe arse kicking he got off toonpack and meself the other day.has disappeared. but it matters not, those who witnessed it will remember it forever.

I want to make it clear that I had done this before you asked

Only if you create a game section to keep the nerds out of the general chat.

Yeah, we take auto backups every 5 days or so, one was done today and the board went down immediately on running it, so I had to step back a little further. Some proper work needed, which I have pencilled in for July so I can properly plan it and get it sorted.

Shit, which one of these three have we sold?

And three older ones hoyed over the fence in to the field.

You best hunker down. The pun nonsense that will follow that signing will be apocalyptic.

Which one, Comedy, Blogger or Bravado?

Unless you’re standing up to wipe it off your chest, you weird, childlike, deviant cunt. I’m screenshotting this in case it disappears like the rest of my grade A patter of the last five days.

@Toonpack I don't think too many people have read your last post. So if you wanted to go for a second draft before the mockery becomes too hurtful, you could probably get away with it. I made sure not to quote it, just in case you fancied another crack.

They might have a Terry Mac “sign Peres” moment …

That might have occurred at the same time he was proposing that the best way to get rid of Ashley was for NUSC to buy a pub.

I mean, there’s a whopping great cunt right in the middle of it, you need to calm down , Dear.

Don't be daft, whats the wirtz that could happen.

Fyp

check your messages Fish, in between rattling your jewellery and selling clothes pegs.

In the meantime, get on the discord! I really can't recommend it enough especially since I'll be on holiday for a chunk of June and may not notice if this place drops particularly quickly

Dont overthink it man. Phones are now practically disposable and the flagship devices are a complete con. Nobody under the age of 35 worth caring about gives a shit about what phone you have, what trainers you're wearing, what car you drive. Slightly older iPhones are orders of magnitude more repairable on the cheap than newer ones or the android equivalents. But by and large they do exactly the same fucking thing as the cheapest android devices.

I'm going to Croatia in 5 hours, taxi booked for 3am Try for a couple of hours sleep or stay up all night drinking. Tricky choice

And his chod in a hoover or was that someone else?

Liverpool have made a £105m offer for Florian Wirtz. Klopp will be spinning in his grave.

Disappointing MF. I’d expect your design to at least feature some massive tits, and I don’t mean Gemmill and Fish.

Yeah not a bad shout tbh. I'll sort that a bit later.

Make CT a mod and empower him to tart the place up, I say. But if I log in and Abba starts playing, we're gonna have a problem.

Fair play to Liverpool

Good thing for CT that the above post was not lost in the latest Quarter Centurium Bug strike.

Done gents. If you have any problems signing up, tough shit, I haven’t got a fucking clue beyond sharing the link

Just in case anyone still hasn’t signed up to the discord, if you let me know I’ll tag you in a pm with the sign up link.

I look forward to the next half an hour of you two giggling and nipping each other's arses.

Cheers for everything you're doing Andrew.

Christ, it's getting just like Dallas this place. It was all a dream and Gemmill's not flouncing.

This is another one of your schemes, isn’t it? You’ve clearly put as much thought in to this as you have every other scheme you’ve come up with in the past, so let me do the thinking for you- don’t bother But, like every other past scheme, we know you’ll take any advice with a hefty pinch of salt and totally ignore it, so, to save your poor Mrs from getting another “suspicious activity” alert on the savings account, here’s what you do.… Your cheapest season ticket is £490, so open your bitchcoin account, find that lump you’ve been “hodling for the bull run”, and cash it all in. Then, sell the metecting gear- get an add on Craigslist, cash only, and flog it as a “beginner’s set”. Say it comes with a free lifetime membership of Sunderland Archaeological Diggers ( Boldon And South Tyneside Area Rural Division), and knock up a mug with the above printed on it ( You might want to go initials only to save a few quid on costs) Meet them in a field, that you’ve previously scattered with some iron filings, hand over the kit, get the cash, and once they’ve got headphones on and get the first BEEP, fucking skedaddle! So, you’ve bought your ticket. Firstly, you’re only going to see one of the two derbies- you’ve got no chance of getting a ticket for the SJP game, so you’re stuck with the game at the SoS. Obviously, you’ll be in the home seats, aka the Toilets, so you’ll need a few tips to blend in with the locals and not be outed as a Maggy Bastid. DRESS- You’ll need one of their tops, and some Sports Direct bargain tracky bottoms. Get them now, two sizes too small. and dump them in the garden-don’t wash them before the game. PATTER- For general patter, look back on your posts in the Brexit and Politics threads from around 2016, memorise them and crack on, you’ll fit right in. When it comes to past players, unless it’s Bally or Quinny , spit on the ground if anyone mentions any player who has left the club, especially if they’re black. Also, get some practice in at BEWWING! You’ll need to do this most of the time you’re in there. If all else fails, whip out some pocket cheese and offer it around. Which brings us to… FOOD- once you hit the concession stand , pre-match, twenty minutes in, at HT, and 50 minutes in, you’re at risk of discovery unless you follow two simple rules; The only acceptable topping for your bucket of chips is cheeyse. The only acceptable drink is Blue. After 50 minutes you can relax as every fucker will have left anyway. TOILET BREAKS- given your pea-sized bladder, you’ll be pleased to note that you won’t need to leave your seat if you need the bog, in fact, getting up to go to the bog will likely raise suspicions of Magness, so stay put and evacuate in-situ. Finally, don’t forget to add FTM at the end of everything you say, marra. Enjoy.

Great for the league to have a proper class club in it. The Premier League should provide complimentary cheese slices for all of their supporters as a thank you.

I think it's ring fenced for TTers with at least ten years membership. Sorry and all that.

You were and are still very welcome, mate. I used to wear it to play 5 -a-side quite a lot too and I sweat like a fat lass. So that’s the other side to its heritage

If Villa are in PSR trouble, they can have the same experience as us last summer where they can lose a promising youngster and they can take some useless fucking Greek keeper for an inflated fee. They’ve got some fucking cheek asking for Barnes