Leaderboard

I couldn't remember if joey Barton was still manager there so looked it up. Simon Grayson now is!

I just don’t even see the point, does he genuinely do anything with training? I honestly find it fairly unlikely the lazy cunt does much and instead just delegates it to everyone else while sleeping his hangover off in his office. We have this fucking loser in charge, and Mike Ashley as owner with zero sign either will be gone anytime soon. What’s the fucking point. Btw I honestly think Bruce is the most I’ve disliked a Newcastle manager, just an absolute chancing cunt to the bone.

Wonder if they still play the Captain Pugwash music when they score?

Where might this establishment be exactly...?

Two points after five matches. We wouldn’t be any worse off if we had Paul Wyn as manager (which I’m a big fan of btw).

Royal Fusilli-ers

I know that because I think “what a shit hole, I bet only Toontastic’s proper scruffs would get a sandwich in there” when I go past

A specially trained force that sneaks into Europe to bring back entire kilos of pasta under nightfall

Wallsend high street. Don't know the name of the cafe but it's more or less opposite The Ship.* *The Ship is a beer bar.

We are an utter shit show and the likes of Neville and Carragher know it. They just don't want to say it in fear of their own benefit.

The Sky duo are already at it. Leeds could have had four if Bamford wasn’t such a Tory daft shite

J69’s going to stride in there and give it some David Dickinson with hard cash. “ It’s over twenty years old, the most I’ll give you is £150…” * sweat breaks out in his top lip

Villa 3 – 0 Everton A certain Telegraph reporter will be wanking himself raw before his wine and chicken tonight.

It was all I could think of when the sandwich shop near it, option two, had too big a queue and my first option, 'Vinnies' was shut when I drove there and I had a hangover hanking for a sarnie so swallowed my pride and went in.

I think you’re confusing him with The Fish. Easily done.

Our ability to stage a protest are on par with Joelinton’s scoring skills

‘Shockwaves’.

I think everyone needs to remember that 20 years ago was 2001 it’ll be considerably older than that

FYP

He's taking the piss if he genuinely made them train at tea time cos he was getting off his easyJet flight mid afternoon

Training at tea-time Bit of a hangover, Brucey?

Bruce there following the British Managers Lunch Club manual for getting a pay off. 1. Put in no effort 2. Achieve dismal results 3. Turn on the media 4. Blame those above you And if all else fails 5. Turn on the players

Surely the training goes better without Bruce irrespective? I'll pay for the fat cunts two seats to the Algarve.

Bruce spent four nights in Portugal during the international break and returned last Monday. Sportsmail understands some players reported for training that day expecting a morning session, only to be told Bruce was not arriving back from holiday until the afternoon. The club say this was always the plan. But a source said: ‘You’ve got players waiting hours at the training ground and some staff didn’t even know what was going on. They also turned up at training the previous Thursday only to be told Bruce had gone on holiday. They just did a gym session. They weren’t impressed. ‘Then on Monday of this week they did not train until tea-time. Players like structure, routine. But they feel like the team’s schedule is designed to suit the manager, not them.’ Some also noted a press report this week that goalkeeper Freddie Woodman would be dropped for Friday’s game. The players know which journalists are close to Bruce and some suspected this had come from the manager before he had told them, much like they did last season when a report stating Karl Darlow would be dropped caused huge irritation behind the scenes.

“ Faat Bastard! “

This deserves a full series. 18 minutes well spent.