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I thought everyone knew he was. He’s even got his own pool.

Talking of mental gymnastics, well, just mental really.....

'Those filthy mags always wearing their shirts'. Meanwhile, on Wearside: I'm not sure what's classier, the football top or his sister's tits spilling out of her dress.

"Dear Keyth, Thank you for yeh letter dayated 19/06/2025 appeyling yeh speyding awarahness course. Unfortunateley, we cannit rescind the points and give yeh a reyfund. Apparentley, trying to tak ewt a mag in a tewn top in South Sheylds on a Wens'dah afternewn is not just cause for deyin fiftey two in a twentey. Dinnit ask ez why, marra. It's a shayam an'aarl coz ah hate the mags. See yeh at the course, marra. Careful of the wandering mags ewtside when ya gerrin the car park. Last thing yeh neyd is another three points. PS: As an aside the premeyeh leygue dinnit allow yeh to transfer them to the club either. Ah na weh neyd all the help wa can get."

Newcastle fans waiting for new transfers, a new stadium, DoF and CEO

Would it be funnier if he got sacked 3 games in or poached by Stoke?

@Gemmill Just popped up on my Timehop from 10 years ago today

I remember going to Durham a few years back with a friend I invited up from London - born and bred southern lad, fairly sheltered from the realities of life north of Watford Anyway I told him Durham was a really nice little city, nice walk around etc. We got there over a bank holiday weekend and it felt like all of Sunderland had emptied itself into the place. Arrived at 1pm to absolute chaos in the main town areas, drunken fistfights, screaming mackem spawn, it was breathtaking in its depravity. I could tell my mate was reeling from this a bit so I said we'd get some money and head into the quieter bits around the Cathedral - stood in line behind a bloke in a Sunderland top. Waited for about 60 seconds before I realised he was pissing on/into the ATM in a drunken haze. The whole scene was like Mordor had emptied and successfully conquered Minas Tirith. We just got back on the train in the end, and I felt incredibly ashamed of the north for a good few hours... thanks for that Sunderland.

I was just getting mildly excited / feeling happy about the nice weather and the forecast for the coming days. Then the inevitable reaction of the Palmersville locals popped into my head.

"Keyth! Calling Keyth! There's been 3 (three) parents spotted collecting their kids on a hot afternewn wearing theya mag tops, repeayt, theya wa wearing tha mag tops. Over "

Had to google that.

First day he made a keynote speech in front of everyone so now all his new work mates think he's a right cu..... Great, they think he's right great.

Yeah but they take an immediate hit. He was signed 2.5 years ago for £62m which was to be amortised over his eight year contract (before the five year maximum came in). So his book value is currently £43m. If they are to rip up his contract then that £43m is immediately recorded as a loss in their accounts which is a big hit to them. What they may do is delay that loss by stating that they're going to sue him for the remaining value of his transfer fee as they did with Mutu and Chelsea being Chelsea will probably get away with it.

can't help thinking ratcliffe's missed a trick here mind. there'll me 70,000 man utd supporters desperate to line warwick road in a guard of honour for the mackem's return. tickets will be priceless.

They'll have a fit when they see what Man U think of them:

More bright pink muffin tops than a mackem bakery.

They're trialling the new badge.

Driving themselves into a frenzy over speculative 'Mag' shirts on a speed awareness course. "I'm proper sorry doing 35 in a 20, like. I saw eight mag tops on the way to the doll office and I just lost me head, like."

This thread has potential https://www.readytogo.net/smb/threads/safc’s-mini-pl-this-season.1658559/

Mag tops | RTG Sunderland Message Boards

Crypto bro innit?

Tbh certain premier league football clubs were using them only a fee years ago - the height of innovation!

We’ve come to the ridiculous point where Chelsea would be more arsed about the PSR implications than the actual loss of the money / asset.

They finished about 30 points behind burnley last season. Top after those five fixtures would be a reasonable shout for us, they'll be lucky to have 3 points.

Rich people wear some weird shit.

They will probably just sell him to their hotel for 75m to do some work there tbh.

So they categorise Burnley, Brighton, Brentford, Fulham and Bournemouth as a bigger draw than the massive lads fans of Netflix?

imagine the cunts who failed the interview when keith landed the job as a moderator over there man.

I've left out the bit where Keyth sparks all four of them out. Because it's a given.

Got to push that comfort zone like all go getters. 3:30 a.m. - Alarm goes off, up out of bed slip into the lycra and out for a quick 100 km cycle. 6:00 a.m. - Home and the three S's 6:15a.m.- breakfast, muesli (with bottled water) and maybe a banana. 6:30 a.m. - off to the station. 7:30 a.m. - arrive and wait for my driver, ready to ATTACK THE DAY.

... is Toonpack the new LeazesMag?

FYP

Not great that we've not really had a summer with a full compliment of settled execs since the takeover (or prior to that to be fair). Too much power in Howe's hands is not ideal. Not that he's not a fucking brilliant head coach, it's just that managers will by their very nature will look to the immediate situation, with their own preferences, rather than the long term. Reportedly, he'd rather go all in on Guehi than pursue another option.

Reminds me of a memory: My first foray onto internet forums was a Green Bay Packers forum in the late 90's, on this forum there was a downtrodden black guy (Tyrone Weaver - never forgotten) who gave the whitey's all sorts of shit at the merest hint (or sometimes not even that) of something that could remotely be construed as a detrimental comment to black folks. He was a fucking legend tbh. This went on for years. Anyway, couple of years into the forum we went to the US to visit family in Wisconsin and went up to Green Bay to watch practice (pre-season/late summer) and attend a forum get together, everyone had name badges, Tyrone was there and fuck me, the cunt was a well to do real estate agent and whiter than me !!!!!

They can't look the other way when they're holding the camera mate !!!!

Careful, Mrs Fish is from Ilkley (but you're right most of them from there are cunts)

No, he's not black but he is an alleged rapist and his OB mates look the other way.

Maybe the person on the phone just didn't start applauding him? I mean that's surely a hate crime right there.

Yes.

Yeah. Bad taste + lots of money is not a good sartorial combination

Taking that 3-0 fucking walkover as some sort of positive it’s a shame it’s not an Olympic year as Keith would have a chance of a gold medal in the mental gymnastics category

Absolutely bizarre the amount of threads on " Mag tops" that appear on there. As soon as on is locked another one pops up whackamole style. This one is 120 posts since starting this afternoon, same old shit on repeat. And yet. They swell with pride when they see MLFs wearing deck chair tops. Strange bunch.

has this cunt finished his feasibility study yet?

His constant references to Northumbria Constabulary make a lot more sense now 😳

"Whose brain, did you give him? Don't say it was Abby Normal again?!" "No, not him." "Who, then?" It was....... Keyth." "Noooooo!"

care for a flutter brett?