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Uh oh. Kalkvin has just become a dad for the first time. This won't go down well with some of our fans

Double pivot btw

Not according to Dave earlier. But then he changed his mind over the course of a fuckin novella of a post

Can we get him registered in time for the derby?

Certainly, Sir.....

As an aside, and I might be way off, but my AbsoluteFilth-RADAR is pinging whenever she does a line direct to camera.

Also known as the Perineum or taint, the bit in between

... Five burning rings... 🙂

Definitely happening, given the source

He has the physicality to break forward, but he's way more defensively aware and capable than Longstaff. He can break the press well either with a quick pass or through that strength on the ball. I think he was used by Leeds to support the attacks (and depending on the opponent he could get that license here too), but he's chiefly there to break up play and be that pivot at the base of a midfield three/diamond. He's definitely got the right profile for what we need. If we don't get him on loan, then we should 100% have other options lined up.

I get what you’re saying *wink-wink*

We even got to see Penelope’s nips. I shouted “booooobies” when they popped out. Mrs didn’t flinch.

We won't forget him that soon.

Apart from her being a professional costume dresser with a slight posh speech impediment, she's also surprisingly decent at history.

I’d put good money on Ms. Worsley having a full range of Dragon cock dildos. I’ll check this out later.

No. Confirmed by Howe in a recent press conference

Oooooonnnn the sixth day of Christmas...

Annoying we got botted off both Spurs & Brighton — but I’ve always got time for a Spurs defeat. Anything good the Brighton manager does is described as “De Zerbian” and the football press wank themselves daft whenever the Spurs manager says “mate”

I agree that we need another striker. Perhaps a bit premature to suggest Wilson is finished. A third striker alike allow us to manage his and Isak’s minutes better than we have lately. I don’t know how you can say Bruno was wretched against Forest. He’s the one of the few players who emerged with any credit from the game that I watched along with Isak and Miley. Burn, Longstaff and Miggy were wretched, Gordon looked half fit. Bruno was one of the few players trying to get us going. He made 44 of 50 attempted passes. Made 3/5 attempted dribbles, 3/3 attempted long balls. Won 10/19 duels. Drew 3 fouls and generally tried to drive us forwards, unlike longstaff who was anonymous.

A proper DM might also help stop us getting done in transition as often. Bruno was trying to take the game by the scruff of the neck against forest - one of the few players seemingly capable of doing so at the minute - but that left massive holes when they broke on us. As did Schar when he kept going awol but that’s another matter

Miley as the number 10 in front of the double pivot?

Is Phillips the answer here then? Because from what I vaguely remember of him at Leeds was that he was very much like Longstaff, in that he was strong defensively but was always getting up the pitch to contribute to attacks too. I could be wrong with that, and think even if I'm not he's still worth a punt just to give us some rotation options. It'll allow Gordon to move to the right and Joelinton left and rest Miggy, or just Joelinton allowing Gordon a rest so it wouldn't be a bad signing even if he's more of the same until the end of the season.

Getting someone like Philips IMO will free up Bruno.

The Spanish language original ‘Open Your Eyes’ (with Penelope Cruz in the same role) is good too

Depends on the system but Bruno does have the flexibility to either play as a pair of 6s in a “double pivot” or as one of the number 8s in a three man midfield. Jesus titty wept - did i just post that?

I was just saying to the wife how burdensome these 750ml wine bottles were just the other day. I'm sure bottle manufacturers will retrospectively alter their production plants to accommodate it and the vintners will be happy paying to alter their bottling lines. And of course Mr and Mrs UK will be dying to buy a smaller sized bottle for what would probably be roughly the same cost. Excellent work, Tories!

Thank god. Finally a reason we swapped this for freedom of movement over an entire continent.

Penelope Cruz and Cameron Diaz were outstanding in that film.

🤔

On this day 🙂

Ah, betwixt. Well, even though I'm a fan of being a twat with words, this twee bollocks can fuck right off into the deepest hole there is; Mrs Wykiki's after a visit from Wilson.* *sorry Wykiki I'm in a mood.

I wonder if this will be Wilson's last season with us. He's not getting any younger and he struggles to stay fit. Wor lass will be devvod. My nephew got him in his stickers at Christmas and brought her it for her on boxing day 😂

Getting another CF or a GK, while they'd serve us well would be short term measures, unless we find someone really surprising who is affordable, available and good enough to provide proper competition to Pope or Isak. I can't see either happening. A number 6 and a RW are both longer standing issues in the squad who we can actually upgrade long term with a more likely january deal.

Pickford

Aye Phillips is a very typical holding midfielder. I’m not his biggest fan but he’s the type of player we need to give our midfield balance, as at the moment we have Bruno, Miley, and Longstaff all going forward as 8’s with no one hanging back and teams are just walking right through midfield. Even with Joelinton and Willock there it’s still a type of player we needed, it’s just their all action pressing style helped mask it more. It’s similar to Liverpool getting Endo really, he’s not that great but he does his role and helps the rest of midfield keep pressure on. I agree with PL on the keeper tbh, Dubravka doesn’t seem to make a save nowadays he was canny a few years ago but sometimes he doesn’t even seem to move as shots fly in. Think DM, GK, and obviously the right wing are priorities this window.

Phillips would be a huge boost to a midfield that is really struggling atm

Merry Twixmas one and all!!!

I’d say neither side would want to commit to anything too soon given that injuries are unpredictable.

Anyway, barely sat down in the bar yesterday when one of my mates said, 'Are you working yet?' I told him I wasn't before he slowly looked away and said 'Fucking lazy cunt.' Which made me laugh.

Need a spirit of '88 vibes when we inexplicably beat them at anfield when; A. They were very good and B. We were very shit. If we can do it with that side......? (Jokes, we're getting the usual defeat).

Or..... "Wallsend high street? You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious."