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No, I don't need an excuse to laugh at Miguel Delaney.

"Name?" "The Burrowers" "Specialised subject?" "The fucking obvious, Marra." "Your sixty seconds start.....now."

Leeds promoted. Now it’s time for everyone to remember how much they hate them again.

“Yiz playin pool n yiz snookad, can yiz play the jump shot? ( hitting cue baal awwa anuntha baal te hit ya cullad baal)? Yes ah nah?”

Gee, you reckon?

That explosion in the background is the chemical reaction of a turd hitting a faded cheap plastic seat.

I like to think we can take a little bit of credit for that– they’d rather see their club sink without trace than raise a finger because “ it’s what them lot up the road dae”. Too classy.

"Everything is fine"

Like me dad likes to say when he’s serving Xmas dinner - who wants stuffing? (HMHM & MF - you can have that one, btw)

Leeds gave us Terry Hibbitt for £30,000. His through ball for Supermac in the semi against Burnley is the best pass I’ve ever seen.Watch it again and check out the degree of difficulty in executing the pass.

I love the self righteousness of the mackems. They’re aghast that these carpet bagging cunts have blamed the fans and are seeking to act like they’re a perfect fan base, meanwhile in the Championship down their away record has been better than home iirc, it’s been rumored at different times the players hate playing at home, they abused the family of their owner, they drank every bit of PR nonsense no matter how fucking blatant and even leant into it (see the fuck heads replacing seats, and the record League One attendance attempt). They’re exactly where their fan base deserves to be, and these were the owners that they legitimately asked for and have repeatedly stated they would take this lot over many others (our potential Saudi owners included).

"This is not a Mag-like boycott, no.....this is a tribute.....sing!...... Ahhhhh ahhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhah"

Please don't leave, Stew. You're solid gold.

You’ll change your opinion on them when you realise they’re over 16

Aye, it’ll be much better value watching them go down again.

Leeds are a much better top flight option than shit like Watford who are the football equivalent of a chicken and stuffing sandwich. Hanging about even though no fucker could ever get excited about it.

Enjoying the promotion of Leeds is equivalent to the celebrate the return of the bubonic plague.

Jamie Redknapp tripping over himself to agree with the black pundits they’ve had on since the restart is cringeworthy as fuck They could say “I think the striker should pick the ball up, lick it and try to bum the ref in the second half” and he’d fire back with “Yeah, I think you’re right there”

As I kid I lived on the moan road from Wetherby (this was well before the M1/A1 link was built) and whenever we played Leeds i would always watch the cars driving past with my scarf out. Get a load of abuse from Leeds fans but loads of beeps from mags. Loved it.

Who the fucking hell is Leeds ?

Aye all the media pretending everyone should be excited for it. A club of utter cunts.

Has this prick not learned?

Didn’t he only actually pay about £5 million for them though, with the rest coming from the parachute payments?

In a strange way I won't really mind if the takeover doesn't happen. I've spent far too much of my life obsessing over this bloody team, and I felt really liberated after Rafa left and I found I didn't actually care anymore. I've already found myself checking for takeover updates and actually knowing the upcoming fixtures recently, I will no doubt be fully sucked back in if the takeover happens. I'm not sure I want to be

Just watched the 2012 opening ceremony repeat. Feels a lifetime ago and it’s hard to believe it’s just 8 years. I remember being cynical as fuck beforehand - it was doomed to be a massive flop - but ended up being the last time I genuinely felt proud to be British.

There’s a lad I know, who’s sound, Leeds fan who works as a coach for their academy. He lives up here and does as much junior coaching in his spare time in the area as he can (voluntarily). And he’s brilliant with the kids. A while back he was on about how good it would be for him and Leeds’ academy if they got promoted because of the extra money / resources they’d have. And I can barely bring myself to feel pleased even just for him

I automatically think of this whenever I hear Brentford. Sorry How we didn’t electrocute ourselves just getting dressed in the 70s escapes me.

I should have put a bet on him proving me dead wrong.

Yer I was probably joking m9 doing banter on the internet

Forrest Gump ran it 4 times over.

Aye been to Yosemite and Tahoe - Tahoe a few times cos it was only a few hours drive away. Went to the deep south, Missisippi, Alabama, Louisiana. Worked a bit in Phoenix, Philadelphia, bits of Maryland, Illinois. Just call me Root Beer. The best bit about working there was, if you were sent to somewhere for the week, and it got to the weekend and they wanted you back there on Monday, whatever it would cost to get you back to home and then back there for Monday, you could use that budget to go somewhere else as long as you were back to where they wanted you for Monday. So if I'm in New Jersey on Friday and it would cost me £x to get back to home (San Francisco) then back again for Monday, I can spend that £x on a weekend in New York instead. Which was a canny good deal.

I’d probably go and support the mackems if that happened.

The Don

What is that photo doing with that headline?!

Exactly. Maybe English footballers don’t generally have enough grey matter to make top managers. Although generally I don’t like to generalise.

Catts fer me like.

Can I just call bullshit on this: Australia didn't do to bad on the first wave, to the point where Victoria had less than a handfull of cases with no community infection just a few returning travellers who were in quarantine (in a hotel). Then some of the security guards for the hotel get bored, shag a couple of equally bored quarantinees and three weeks later the community transmission rate just in Melbourne is growing by 200-300 people a day, with some of the infected now spreading it into NSW. Chance of infection is not small and anyone that thinks so is a stupid cunt. Humans, architects of their own extinction through idiocy and ignorance.

He's been dead to me since selling to the fat man

And you can fuck off back off to your shed anarl hairy palms.

I tell you what though, shades of carver and pardew teams in the goals going in and the manner of them. It's almost as if the longer the side don't have Benitez on their case, the more calamitous the goals?

FYP …stroppy cunt.

@sammynb "Agonisingly close, yet also frustratingly far away. That magical 46-point mark is still within sight. Newcastle United are three points short of that magnificent milestone. True, that has been the case for the past 10 days but three successive defeats and a ballooning injury list have seen a tantalising tally which, at one stage, looked inevitable appear eminently unattainable. But, in their remaining fixtures at Brighton and Hove Albion and at home against Liverpool, the champions, Newcastle must accrue those final three points. Otherwise, this season has been an indisputable write-off. That is how it has been portrayed by some, at least. For reasons passing comprehension, the “success” or otherwise of Newcastle’s entire campaign is dependent upon them reaching that target. Why an arbitrary 46 points, I hear you ask? Well, because that is one more than last season’s tally under Rafa Benitez. So, as well as facing the other 19 Premier League teams this season, Steve Bruce’s Newcastle are also, in the eyes of some, fighting against the 2018-19 incarnation of themselves. This is, of course, ludicrous. Even if Newcastle as a club does so often appear to be wrestling with itself, the barometer for progress should not be a painstaking comparison between the current and former managers. The debate that has raged about whether Bruce’s Newcastle are better than Benitez’s Newcastle has become as tedious as it is pointless. It is almost as wearisome as the interminable takeover saga, which continues to leave the club in damaging stasis. There is no Bruce vs Benitez. There is no Newcastle United Mk. 2019-20 vs Newcastle United Mk. 2018-19. Or at least there shouldn’t be. It isn’t, and shouldn’t be, that superficial. It is Newcastle United against the rest of the league, most specifically those teams immediately above and below them — just as it was last season and is during every campaign. But that is not been how it has been presented in some quarters, by those pundits, including Sam Allardyce, Chris Sutton and Jamie Redknapp, who seem determined to compare them at every possible juncture. This season-long debate was frustrating to begin with and, as it has continued across the course of a campaign that has lasted almost a year, it has become thoroughly exasperating. Does it really matter if Newcastle finish with 43 points? Or 46 points? Or 49 points? Other than a few million in prize money here and there, it is almost utterly meaningless. Will this season really be viewed as a success or a failure depending on whether Newcastle better last season’s points tally or position? No, it will not and it should not. For a start, it is a completely false economy. Points are compared between seasons but they are only one measure — and, to be perfectly honest, they are a fairly poor one at that. In 2001-02, when Newcastle finished fourth under Sir Bobby Robson and qualified for the Champions League, they accrued 71 points. The following season, they picked up two fewer, with 69, yet they finished a position higher in third. So which was the better campaign? When Newcastle finished fifth in 2003-04, they did so with just 56 points. But, under Alan Pardew, they ended the 2011-12 season nine points better off with 65 points — yet that still only saw them finish fifth. This season, Liverpool could end with fewer than the 97 points they reached when they finished second last year. But this time, they have won the title at a canter. It is impossible to solely use points alone as a metric to contrast one campaign against another. It is, to an extent, irrational and even counterproductive. Now, this is certainly not intended to denigrate anyone at the club who uses an increased points haul — or a desire to better last season — as internal motivation. Far from it. That is exactly what should happen. Every club, and members of staff within them, should strive for constant self-improvement. Newcastle are coming towards the end of their third season back in the Premier League and so they should, in theory, be better than last year and the year before that. But this is not a normal club. The Mike Ashley regime have never given off the impression that they themselves hold such aspirations of advancement. Survival seems to suffice, even if they have failed even to achieve that twice. However, the coaching staff and the players certainly do want to progress. Bruce himself reiterated again this week that his goal is to “take the club forward” and that is what now needs to happen. Bruce, his coaching staff and players deserve credit for comfortably keeping a team many feared would be relegation fodder in the Premier League. It was chaotic at Newcastle last summer once Benitez departed and he was followed by Salomon Rondon and Ayoze Perez, who between them, scored 54.8 per cent of Newcastle’s 42 Premier League goals in 2018-19. And, although £65 million was spent on four permanent signings, £40 million of that was lavished on Joelinton, a forward whose head coach even admits feels “more comfortable” out wide and is “not a natural goalscorer”. The only recruit made over the past 12 months who has undoubtedly improved the starting XI is Allan Saint-Maximin, who has injected pace, excitement and, recently, end product into this Newcastle side. It has been anything but aesthetically pleasing — for most of the season, the football has been painful on the eyes — but the ends have, to an extent, justified the means. Belatedly, Bruce has even tried to evolve Newcastle’s style. In the deflating context of what Newcastle have become under Ashley, that warrants recognition. That does not mean this season has been a “success”, just as last year was not a “success” and nor, particularly, was the 10th-placed finish in 2017-18, either. In fact, Newcastle, who are 13th with 43 points after a 3-1 defeat to Tottenham Hotspur which left them with an injury-ravaged squad and two fixtures merely left to fulfil, are pretty much on course to finish off what will be yet another indifferent season under a regime that appears content with mediocrity. Across the 10 full Premier League campaigns throughout Ashley tenure, Newcastle’s average finishing position is 12.9th in the table, with 44.3 points. A middle-of-the-road return for what, under Ashley, has become a middle-of-the-road, survival-will-do football club. Some fans have even come to ask the question of: “What is the purpose of Newcastle United under Mike Ashley?” If 46 points this season really is the zenith that it has been portrayed, then Newcastle United really are going through an existential crisis." Chris 'I survived Ryder' Waugh.

Blyme. This is like CT being positive about the takeover - I'm immediately suspicious.

Yep, no excuses there Brewcey. What a fucking turd of a man he is.