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You mean the modern Sharon Stone, back then they were hairy twats!

https://www.theguardian.com/football/ng-interactive/2021/mar/09/david-squires-on-mole-steve-bruce-hunt-for-the-newcastle-leaker

Into the 2020/21 season, and journalists had to weave around abandoned beer kegs at Southampton - the venue were Toon fans last attended a game - as beverages that never got drank were cast aside, only the bitter taste of a 2-0 defeat at St Mary's was on the menu that day.

Marshall Barnes?

Who would you consider the best player is for West Ham? Bobby Moore What do you think West Hams strengths and weaknesses are? They work well in a team but can also work individually- they are highly motivated and willing to learn new skills. How do you think Newcastle will get on for the rest of this season? What player for Newcastle should opposing teams watch out for? Joelinton- some of your lads might mistake him for a footballer and waste their time marking him. Are you happy with the return of Andy Carroll? He brings balance to the squad as we had two empty seats on the left end of the bench but only one at the right end- no longer a problem. How gutted were you when the recent takeover fell through? 5.6 What has been Newcastles biggest struggle this season? Finding a reliable source of Beef Monster Munch for Bruce Does Steve Bruce deserve the criticism he receives from fans? He hasn’t got any fans. Do you think you will stay up this season? Not without Kamagra What are your score predictions for Newcastle v West Ham? Eleventy Ten

He’ll have been working on that “What Did You Do on Your Summer Holidays?” piece for months as well

Lads… I’m going to cut out the middleman and just put myself on The List.

Not seen Stevie's inimitable posting style on twitter for a while.....anyone know how he is? ...

The Chronicle are talking through their arse. In that article they first state that the accounts are until 31st July 2019, then later they say it can't be the Bruce settlement because it only covers the period until 30th June 2019. The accounts are clearly until 31st July 2019 and as such do cover the Bruce payment.

Clearly enjoyed his day out at Madame Tussaud's

If Joelinton shot Tupac he would have been 49 today... (shamelessly stolen off twitter)

The usual Toontastic charm on full display itt.

I'm genuinely wondering if he ever read the diaries? They were in TF so there's a fair chance. Is this a subtle piss take from himself or am I giving him too much credit?

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, wor kid.

Think of all the free promotion for the finest NUFC podcast out there.

Manager of Leddersfield Town. Written whilst he was managing at Huddersfield

With the imaginatively named protagonist Steve Barnes.

on the contrary - he's a published novelist https://www.balls.ie/football/steve-bruce-novel-293169

Mental isn't it. £2.75mil pa fits with the £4mil figure quoted to pay him off too. He's got 17ish months left on his contract

So it seems to simply boil down to Ashley paying over the odds for a shite manager just as one last ‘fuck you’ to the fans, thinking he was about to sell. Now it’s gone tits up he’s unwilling to cough up a payout even though if it leads to relegation it’ll probably cost £30-50m in the unlikely event we come straight back up? Sounds about right given the alternative would mean he’d learned something about football over the last 13 years or whatever it is.

Shelvey as Sharon Stone

Good point. Every decision Ashley has ever made for NUFC has been short term and short sighted. This was probably a stop gap measure that ticked a box at the time, and has now become a massive fuck up. Kind of sums up his ownership really

So does Bernie, tbf.

To be fair we're that much a joke you can't help but laugh at the shameless way we go about our business.

He looks like someone who’s popped in to see his Dad at the old folks home

So that’s The Fish’s new job. No wonder he didn’t want to get specific.

Honestly. He definitely gets scammed via text message every couple of months

He absolutely got his autograph after that. Old Storey wants to stop resisting fate and get back to working on the waltzers from town to town.

Please consider the implications of this post further.

I think it's because Steve bruce is a tit.

think you're being overly generous there to be honest mate. on the surface he's an utter, utter cunt too.

It was a three year deal so runs until next summer. It was apparently £1m per year with performance bonuses on top so all together it's £1m per year.

Unless they’re lying....

If them three were back by that point we would definitely have a chance of staying up. If it's not us I fancy Brighton to go down. I've looked at their run in and I don't see them picking up many points at all. I know they look ok but they just keep getting beat. If they hit that bottom three I think they'll struggle to get out of it. But if we continue much longer with the available squad we currently have, I can't see us scoring let alone winning games.

I'm absolutely positive none of them will be risked before ready leading to more time out

This is what dog ownership does to a man. Be warned.

Is there a tl/dr version of Fish’s post for those of us that are past caring?

Brighton have been extremely unlucky and aren't playing badly. We are shit.

COVID passes from person to person easily.