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Wasn’t watching mate, have been out getting called a fat cunt by the tailor most of the day. Will have a look at the goals on motd

He’ll be the hardest player to replace in this side IMO. Unless there’s some young centre half out there who can play 70 yard rakers, carry the ball 50 yards up the pitch effortlessly and score the odd screamer. £3 million, man. Cheers, Rafa

They bumped in to some radge bastard ranting on about Best Scotch who battered the lot of them, not allowed mobiles on the orthopaedic ward, so no updates until tomorrow at least.

Imagine being told someone is going to ram a wire coat hanger up your japsy, only to then find that the reality was 10 times worse than your most pessimistic imaginings of how it might be. Aye, that.

Goooood morning

@trophyshy I know you don’t get out much, mate. And you probably overdid it with the Best Scotch (we’ve all been there). But maybe keep your head down for a while. Northumbria police have just released this footage of someone they’d like to talk to in connection with an incident at today’s match:

Pope, Joelinton and no strikers is killing us.

Again, sorry to Labour the point but if this was at Liverpool? They really do seem to save these daft cunt refs up for meaningless (for them) games like this. Tripps and Tindall on at the ref as he came off. Fucking joke the stuff he's letting go.

This ref is fucking dogshit. He’s one to “let things go” and before you know it, they’re raking studs down Bruno’s calf and scything Almiron down. Almost like you need to nip things in the bud, dickhead

I tend to get out of things like that by refusing to go

Oh look, Liverpool are winning so Klopp is having a bit bantz with the fourth official. He's such a character. The fucking German cunt.

"It's alright, we'll just stay in the championship, make £80m a saysun selling our outstanding young talents and reybuild a bigger and better squad till we can go up to the premeya and qualify for Yewrup. FTM."

Him and Botman. The latter of course is down to Wyki always tipping him to score.

Fucking spoilers man 🙄 Shouldn't be allowed

Out of embarrassment, I assume?

In a break with tradition I’m going to say… … 0-5. A pair each from the Robledos and a Hat trick from Jinky Jim Smith.

Aye, Bruno, Joe, Tonali, Willock, Miley and Longstaff is good midfield depth in a normal season. However, we do need: 1 - An upgrade on Burn/Targett at LB if Hall is going back to Chelsea 2 - Another CB if Lascelles doesn't sign a new contract 3 - A replacement for Miggy 4/5 - A 3rd striker. And a replacement for Wilson if he leaves. We played 3 different wingers up front today and none of them looked like a striker

Youth are mortal in the Bodega, indulging in the long lost past time of throwing beer mats around. The locals are obviously looking on with affectionate tender contempt 😆

Beale is contracted until June ‘26 iirc. They are such a basket case of a club

About 6 games ago.

TOLD YOU TO GET THE RADGIE CUNT ON

Murphy bottled that.

Fucking hell Murphy man, you need to commit to that he fucking pulled out

Shush. You do realize Howe is the manager and not anyone on here right?

Also, Trippier setting the ref right on the way off. Love to see it. They should technically be down to ten men tbh.

Is it ok to say Burn had a canny half?

That should have been his second yellow if this cunt was doing his job. Or he doesn't do that and Bruno doesn't get injured cos he's already on a yellow.

14 minutes in and it feels like they've made 3 or 4 late/unnecessarily physical fouls without punishment. This is a crazy game, nice save Dubravka but into a dangerous position and Burns long leg preventing the tap in. Mind you it was also Burns legs that allowed them to so easily get in behind us.

I’ve just been told that I’m now ( literally, in 10 feckin minutes), going to Mrs. F’s formerly estranged dad’s birthday party, organised by his 4th or 5th wife’s family, who are all certifiably mental but dull as ditchwater. FML.

😂 This mackem whopper.... https://www.readytogo.net/smb/threads/i-honestly-dont-want-us-to-go-up-this-season-or-any-season.1627594/

PL'YP

Off to get measured for my wedding suit in the morning. Looking forward to the final nail in my football career as they announce at 39 and with a 36” gunt I’m not in prime shape anymore. It’s a sad but also positive day, I’ve held the position that I was ready to step into the first team for over 30 years and now accept i might be past my best, it’s their loss. Now I’ve hung up my boots I’m looking to take over a pub in the west end, so if anyone has any contacts let me know.

Thank god there was a camera there to capture it all for social media.

I think we should just ignore all our principles and chuck Jamal Lascelles up top. ROUTE ONE for 90 mins.

PaddockLad by the end of this weekend.

He dies at the end of the episode ffs. I feel a bit bad now.

Chinese burn. Out for the season.

Bruno was immense again today. He was everywhere!

Masterclass 90th minute subs by Howe

Ritchie frogot we aren't playing under Bruce, get back to the center line and go for the win you twat

Gettin! Still time to chuck it away

Fuck sake, Murphy too lightweight had to commit to getting that ball and should have been a goal.

Bruno is 100% getting booked in this one now.