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'Okay, that's no problem Dr. Gloom, we'll see the kids tomorrow. Thank you for all you're doing in the NHS to keep us safe' 'Well, I'm not an actual Doctor' 'I thought you were a key worker? So you're a police officer? Fireman? Nurse? Government official? Paramedic? Social worker? Prison officer? Vicar? Postman? Transport worker? Nuclear physicist?' 'Errr, no. I edit video clips from home' 'Oh...'

Same. The only one I know is OPP. (Yeah, you know me).

FYP

I'm a key worker but we've never sent the youngest in, (Wife can't work). She's doing really well at the minute and has been growing academically for about two years now. I'm hoping it's enough for her results should the exams be cancelled but it's hard to tell. I tend to make teas but not sourdough quinoa Banana loaf fusions and the wife can't stand for long periods to do anything but simple sandwiches etc so she can can learn at home no bother, (just bought her a decent laptop so she doesn't have to use the slightly slow family one). The only thing that's sometimes problematic is making dinner quietly when she's in a lesson as the eldest comes home from work as she literally works round the corner. I think her school have done pretty well considering the debris of the omni-shambles from their old Etonian overlords raining down on them.

Not so fast, buckaroo! She’s still alive. Tanya Roberts: Bond girl and Charlie's Angel still alive, agent says https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-55528352 you’re right about the last bit, though

I'M JUST IMMATURE, ANDREW.

They’ve been fairly consistent throughout. Doing the necessary (but making it less effective and meaning the measures take longer) about two weeks too late. That’s ignoring the cronyism and ridiculous promises they’ve consistently failed to fulfil.

Sounds a bit like Henri Saivet

Which one of you is Simon Bird?

Gloom practicing his ollies in the background as his kid tries to learn fractions.

How the fuck are you meant to find time to make sourdoughs and roast carrot salad???

There's no sense of outrage as to how it all works - when I explain to people the true meaning of "estate" in that the Queen actually owns all of the land in England and issues licences (estates) for people to nominally trade in it while maintaining true ownership the response tends to be so what? It would probably take her revoking the licences without compensation for people to wake up but they'd still probably say "Gawd bless her" and not care.

If you get bored with that… ( I’ll post this in the next game thread too 😑)

One is a drum roll and the other is something you should never do when supervising at the Paralympics

French got their timing right. We are fucked forever as the levers of control are much bigger now. Any attempts to revise things for the people will be perpetually quashed. I can’t stop thinking about the despicable, illegal vans outside polling stations depicting Corbyn as pretty much Satan. They completely got away with that. When things settle down I think we’re moving to France. Fuck all the shit England has going on. I’m sick of thinking about it. Caught between an abusive, extortive establishment and a fecklessly proud to be servile mass. It’s a twisted place. Plus I’ll get to hang out with Chez.

The UK missed out on a revolution - the civil war was a start but it was just a shame that Cromwell was an even bigger cunt than any monarch.

Food for thought....very thought provoking piece by Simon Jenkins Rowson follows up with an observation.... I think he’s got it slightly wrong in that the Cabinet are the fawning courtiers & Parliament are perhaps the Northern Earls shouting from the sidelines (my MP is re tweeting Alison Pearson daily ) but his central point is correct..next to fuck all has changed in the British state in 1000 years. And it very likely never will.

Mine will be doing 3 days a week too. It helps both our mental healths, especially in January.

Thanks. Will do.

That and the compilation of his groaning and grunting as he stood up and sat down have comfortably been the highlights of his time here

I remember the one about a lass who frigged herself with an old style cola bottle, created a vacuum, and sucked her vaginall tract into it. Way before Facebook though.

Someone with an account on rtg get on there and start a rumour that League One’s season is finished and they’re deciding the final positions on a points by game basis again

The country is populated exclusively by cunts.

Sherlock Homeless?

Are you absolutely sure this time? ...

She’s deed noo like, whoever the fuck she was...

pretty much this. the guy is pretty much the most toxic leader of any of the free world countries of the last few decades.

https://twitter.com/ImIncorrigible/status/1346420368769216512?s=20

ask me at the end of the week. hopefully it'll get easier. right now, i'm on the precipice

i'm playing the key worker card tomorrow like. how else am i going to learn to brew nord mead?

FML - home schooling 2.0 is even worse. last time it was just home school worksheets, which was painful enough, but they could at least do it at their own pace and our job was to monitor and check. now it's a full on zoom meeting next to me, out of my phone with no headphones, because all the other devices are in use. i'm acting as iT support/teacher's assistant.

I’m happy to get Medieval on a few Tories/Leavers in the name of Revolt. Get Johnson and Farage on the Judas Cradle , Rees Mogg can have the Scavengers Daughter

I find that a good session just delays the calorie intake rather than reduces it! Anyway the big secret is that when your jeans start getting a bit tight, don't address it by buying bigger jeans.

I was speaking to my sister on nyd and she told me my niece who's a teacher and is married to one really wanted the schools to open as they think kids are suffering badly. I agree but I think the current shit storm has to take precedence for a while. As usual though it's the kids with poor or shit parents who suffer disproportionately which is another thing I'd criticise the government for as they've shown no real determination to ensure home schooling is tenable via laptops and or broadband dongles. I'd also say that at the start when they asked for community volunteers and then didn't bother using any of them you'd have thought there must have been some of those people with a bit of knowhow on some things who could have been used as extra online tutors or even in neighbourhoods when SD mixing was allowed.

Im a bit disappointed he’s not making his own sourdough-based ones tbh

It was at the time, bitchtits! Anyway that cancels out with me being right about schools, so apologies accepted from the entire board. Just don't ever doubt me again.

But true

odds for successful dry january lengthening

He’ll be under no pressure at all. Out of the cups, relatively safe in the league, not expecting any January transfer activity. Ashley’s man doing the job he was brought in to do.

It'll be interesting to see if there is actually any pressure on him after the Sheffield game. We look likely to crash out of the cup at the first hurdle and then give the Blades their first win of the season by next Tuesday night. Should that happen, for any sane person his position would have to finally become untenable. But Mike Ashley is the man who appointed Bruce despite everyone involved with the club knowing it made no sense at all so it's certainly not a foregone conclusion that he'd be under any pressure let alone get the boot.

What absolute turgid shite. We've had some terrible players and managers over the years but I've never disliked a player as much as I do Shelvey, what lazy cunt he is. The way he shrugs his shoulders when an opposition player goes past him does my fucking head in, you get paid a fortune to play football you twat of a human, fucking put some effort in. Cabbagehead gets whatever he deserves for constantly sending out a side with players the others have to carry, Joelinton, Shelvey, Hendrick; fuck me how someone with all his experience cannot see how much they drag the team down is mind boggling. Someone I know had the gall to tell me we must be happy with mid table obscurity and Bruce ball, I told the cunt to fuck off and reminded them that prior to Ashley, Newcastle in the premier league era were consistantly in Europe and ranked in the top 20 wealthiest clubs in the world, why the fuck should we be happy with Bruce ball and useless cunts like Shelvey. Happy 2021 people, same shite different year.

Salah- “ Who is this Gerald Pissmaker?” Henderson- “ Shh, just look sad mate, ok?”

"Err....is this the ferry across the Mersey, la?" "It is if you want it to be?"

I was thinking of doing something with Maltesers and Nutella just to cover the full range It has been, and remains an absolute shitshow. I’ve teetered on the brink of several mini-breakdowns but a couple of weeks ago finally had my first full week of annual leave since February. Got my first dose of the vaccine on Boxing Day and feel lucky that I’ve managed to avoid the virus itself so far, although the anxiety about bringing it home to the bairn remains. Getting increasingly annoyed with people who think that once the clock strikes midnight and it’s 2021 that it will alllllll disappear and things will be better. We’re still playing Russian roulette with ITU beds where we hit capacity and then just about manage to split staff into 3 to create ‘just one more’ It’s not safe but it’s what we have to do. We got a voucher for a free coffee at the canteen though so every cloud. 👍